40 Side-Splitting Quotes from ‘Cheers’ That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud

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For decades, NBC has graced us with some of the best sitcoms, and while we’ve bid farewell to shows like The Good Place and Parks and Recreation, Cheers remains a classic from the 80s that never fails to make us chuckle. Set in a Boston bar where everyone knows your name, the series is filled with characters who, despite their differences, embody the essence of friendship. Let’s toast to the hilarity with some of the most memorable quotes from the show.

  1. “I need something to pass the time before my second beer. How about a first one?” – Norm
  2. “It was a magical moment. I felt young again, not the exhausted mother of six.” – Carla
  3. “Coach: How’s life treating you, Norm?”
    “Norm: Like I just smashed its dog.”
  4. “Just so you know, I’m not seeing anyone. But the guy who left me is ten times classier than you.” – Carla
  5. “To move forward in a relationship, you need to get past the sweet phase and into the ‘I’m sick of you’ phase. Just look at Diane and me, we waited five years to tie the knot.” – Sam
  6. Carla: “There are things he doesn’t know about me.”
    Diane: “Mystery is good for marriage. What haven’t you shared?”
    Carla: “That my kids are alive.”
  7. “What’s the point of winning if you can’t make the other team feel miserable?” – Coach
  8. “I think I can whip up a great Thanksgiving dinner. The first one I made wasn’t a disaster. Those kids had a blast on the way to the hospital.” – Rebecca
  9. Sam: “What’s up, Norm?”
    Norm: “It’s my birthday. Just give me a beer with a candle, and I’ll blow out my liver.”
  10. “Ooh, a totally unprovoked personal attack. I love it!” – Carla
  11. “You know, I haven’t had much practice saying ‘No’ to women. The closest I’ve come is ‘Not now, we’re landing.’” – Sam
  12. “Women: Can’t live with them. Pass the beer nuts.” – Norm
  13. Diane: “Sam, may I have a word?”
    Sam: “You could, but I doubt it.”
  14. Woody: “Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
    Norm: “Isn’t it a bit early for beer?”
    Woody: “For a beer?”
    Norm: “No, for dumb questions.”
  15. “I don’t need to score. I’m happy being a bench warmer. Without bench warmers, all we’d have are cold benches!” – Norm
  16. Coach: “What’s going on, Norm?”
    Norm: “A thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.”
  17. “Sam, if brains were cash, you’d need a loan just to buy coffee.” – Diane
  18. “You can’t trust a word that comes out of your mouth. If you could fix TVs and crack walnuts with your forehead, you could be my ex-husband.” – Carla
  19. “Oh, you’re saying I’m repetitive, that I say the same things over and over!” – Frasier
  20. Carla: “Diane, I heard screams.”
    Diane: “I dreamt I was being killed.”
    Carla: “Was I the murderer?”
    Diane: “No.”
    Carla: “Did I help at all?”
  21. “I sold out women’s rights for a trip to Bermuda.” – Diane
  22. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.” – Norm
  23. Woody: “How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?”
    Norm: “Pretty nervous if I was in the room.”
  24. “I like rat parts; they’re my favorite part of the hot dog!” – Sam
  25. “Once trust leaves a relationship, lying becomes less enjoyable.” – Norm
  26. Sam: “How’s life treating you?”
    Norm: “It’s not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.”
  27. “When I say I love you, I’m opening my soul. When you say it, you’re just clearing your throat.” – Diane (to Sam)
  28. “I don’t ask for much: fresh fish, discounts on laundry detergent, and the Sox in the series before I kick the bucket.” – Carla
  29. Cliff: “I’m scientifically knowledgeable. I spent my youth in a lab.”
    Carla: “And you’d still be there if a chimp hadn’t taught you how to escape your cage.”
  30. Cliff: “What a pathetic display. I’m ashamed to be a man.”
    Carla: “I doubt God’s bragging either.”
  31. Lilith: “I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope to realize my full potential.”
    Carla: “Like having a normal body temperature?”
  32. Candi: “What’s your name?”
    Frasier: “Dr. Frasier Crane.”
    Candi: “I’m Candi.”
    Frasier: “Ah, Candi with an ‘I.’”
  33. Sam: “I guess I’ve never looked into your eyes.”
    Diane: “Is something wrong with them?”
    Sam: “No, they’re just a color I’ve never seen before.”
  34. “I think I can manage a Thanksgiving dinner. The first one wasn’t as terrible as my family claimed. The kids had a fun ride in the ambulance.” – Rebecca
  35. “The sex was great, but he was British and clueless.” – Rebecca
  36. “I lost my dream job, and when I left that House of Pancakes, I felt tiny.” – Rebecca
  37. Rebecca: “Once I started eating clean, I realized how tasty a dry rice cake can be.”
    Woody: “How can you eat those? They have no flavor.”
    Rebecca: “If I eat these, I’ll live longer.”
    Woody: “Then why do you want to extend your miserable life?”
    Rebecca: “Shut up, Woody.”
  38. “What’s shaking, Norm?”
    “All four cheeks and a couple of chins.”
  39. “How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?”
    “Poor.”
    “Sorry to hear that.”
    “No, I mean pour.”
  40. “What’s up, Mr. Peterson?”
    “A neon sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’”

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In summary, Cheers continues to bring us laughter with its timeless wit and relatable characters. These quotes remind us of the joy of friendship and the humor in everyday life, making it a show that resonates even today.

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