32 Hilarious Quotes from Chandler Bing to Spark Your ‘Friends’ Nostalgia

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Could he be any more amusing?

It’s been almost twenty years since Friends wrapped up its final season, leaving fans to reminisce about the gang’s hilariously overpriced New York apartment. While plenty has changed since then, our adoration for Monica, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe remains steadfast. With whispers of a potential reboot floating around, we’ve had to settle for the occasional social media updates and the 2021 reunion special to quench our thirst for nostalgia.

Among the Friends crew, one character’s humor resonates more than the rest: Matthew Perry’s Chandler Bing. With a perplexing job and a razor-sharp wit, the lovable “Chanandler Bong” was the kind of friend who would lift you up after you fell but also find a way to chuckle at your misfortune. Following Perry’s passing in 2023, his legacy as one of the most charismatic, quirky, and funny sitcom characters ever is cherished even more. So, let’s take a moment to appreciate some of Chandler’s best quotes. Enjoy!

  1. “I say more ridiculous things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.”
  2. Chandler: “I got her voicemail.”
    Joey: “Her answering machine?”
    Chandler: “No, surprisingly her leaf blower picked up.”
  3. (To a door) “I’m hilarious, right? What do you know? You’re a door. You only enjoy knock-knock jokes.”
  4. Ross: “I went to that tanning place your wife recommended.”
    Chandler: “Was that place the sun?”
  5. “You have to stop using the Q-tip when you feel resistance!”
  6. Janice: “What a small world.”
    Chandler: “And yet I never run into Beyoncé.”
  7. “So it looks like this internet thing is here to stay.”
  8. Joey: “Oh, sorry, did I hit you?”
    Chandler: “No, you didn’t hit me. It’s an electric drill; if you hit me, you’d kill me!”
  9. “Hi, I’m Chandler. I crack jokes when I’m anxious.”
  10. “I’m not great at giving advice. Would you like a sarcastic remark instead?”
  11. “If I were a guy… and did I just say ‘if I were a guy?’”
  12. “I’m a gym member. I aim to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last 1200 sessions.”
  13. “Until I turned 25, I thought that the only response to ‘I love you’ was ‘Oh, no!’”
  14. “Could we be more white trash?”
  15. “I usually keep talking until someone tells me to stop.”
  16. “What must it feel like to be free from fear and self-loathing?”
  17. “Cheese: It’s just milk that you can chew.”
  18. “When I first meet someone, it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a lot of sweating.”
  19. “It’s always easier to lie than to have a complicated conversation.”
  20. Ross: “No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.”
    Chandler: “Well, maybe he was just nervous.”
  21. “Alright, I took the quiz. Turns out I put my career before men.”
  22. “I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner; I rarely practice my meals before I eat.”
  23. Monica: “Okay, I’ve got a leg, three breasts, and a wing.”
    Chandler: “How do you even find clothes that fit?”
  24. (Ross directing Chandler and Rachel while moving a sofa up the stairs) “PIVOT. PIVOT. PIVOT.”
    Chandler: “SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.”
  25. “Why, yes, Ross, pressing my third nipple. It opens the delivery portal to the magical land of Narnia.”
  26. “Because, Phoebe, sometimes after sleeping with someone, you need to kill a fish.”
  27. “We bottle up our feelings, even if it means being unhappy forever. Sound okay?”
  28. “Like what she saw, huh? Dug my groove, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan Man!”
  29. “I’m hopeless, awkward, and desperate for love!”
  30. “Should I use my invisibility for fighting crime or for evil purposes?”
  31. “Oh, that gives me such a warm feeling in my hollow, tin heart.”
  32. “Oh, I know. This must be so tough. ‘Oh, no! Two gorgeous women love me. My wallet’s too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!’”

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In summary, Chandler Bing’s unforgettable humor continues to resonate with fans, long after Friends ended. His witty remarks remind us of the joy and laughter that can be found in our everyday lives, making Chandler a timeless character.

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