NBC has gifted us with a treasure trove of beloved comedies, including classics like Friends, The Office, Saturday Night Live, 30 Rock, and Parks and Recreation. Among these, Scrubs debuted in 2001 and is set to celebrate its 20th anniversary next year! This iconic show brought a refreshing dose of humor to the often serious world of medical dramas, and we’re here to reminisce about some of its most hilarious moments.
We’ve curated a collection of standout quotes and scenes from Scrubs that are sure to tickle your funny bone, featuring the unforgettable cast of hospital staff.
- Elliot: “Rate Dr. Reid’s backside? Absolutely! 9.2! Thank goodness this hospital’s filled with white guys.”
- Kelso: “Don’t get too excited about that 9.2; it’s out of 100.”
- “I don’t believe in the moon. I think it’s just the backside of the sun.” – Janitor
- “You know, Newbie, it’s fascinating — I couldn’t sleep last night, so I made a list of things that annoy me more than you. Top of the list: people who call Wednesdays ‘hump day’ and, of course, all Sandra Bullock movies.” – Dr. Carter
- Carla: “Tell me my husband loves me more than he loves you.”
- J.D: “It’s pretty much the same.”
- Carla: “I’ll take it.”
- “Sometimes in life, when you get what you wished for, you end up missing what you left behind.” – J.D.
- “Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Man Who Doesn’t Care.” – Dr. Carter
- “All the mothers wanted me to marry their daughters because I was a doctor. I used that to sleep with all those mothers. That’s what ‘house call’ used to mean.” – Dr. Kelso
- Date: “Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
- J.D: “Actually, it’s a roll of quarters. Laundry day!”
- “Why do people always ruin everything? I only got to say ‘fo shizzle’ for a week.” – Turk
- “My first patient today was a little brat who wouldn’t let me give him a rectal exam unless I asked ‘pretty please’ first. Honestly, I’m not a fan of begging strangers to let me stick my hand up their butt, not even in my downtime.” – Dr. Carter
- Patient: “Sure, he’s young, but he’s probably a really good doctor. Are you a good doctor?”
- J.D: “It’s a bit soon to tell.”
- “Actually, it’s not a helmet. It’s a hair-met. Extra room so you don’t mess up your hairdo.” – J.D.
- “Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt or his colon has a brilliant idea.” – Dr. Carter
- Carla: “I just want a baby so badly.”
- Turk: “Why? What’s it going to be like to have a baby?”
- Carla: “Dr. Carter says it’s like having a dog that gradually learns to speak.”
- Turk: “Awesome.”
- “Some folks just can’t handle a good ‘your mom is dead’ joke.” – Elliot
- “The truth is, your memories, both joyful and heartbreaking, shape who you are.” – J.D.
- “I’m not really into all that New Age nonsense. I once saw my mom knock my dad out with a frying pan. You know what I did? I kept right on with my birthday party!” – Dr. Carter
- Elliot: “You know I kind of had a date last night?”
- J.D.: “Oh really?”
- Elliot: “Yeah, a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder.”
- J.D.: “You little hussy.”
- “I’m going to prescribe you a couple of things. First up is an oversized mallet to help you knock some sense into yourself. Next, a big floppy hat you’ll have to wear every time you leave the house. Have a nice day, you look like a purse.” – Dr. Carter
- “Okay, listen up, roof-poopers! Setting aside, for a moment, that I’m going to ensure you all regret this day, let’s keep the magic rolling. Let’s not tell anyone about the toilet on the roof…” (then the Todd walks in) “There is NOT a toilet on the roof!” – Janitor
- “Excuse me, I know what a restraining order is. You act like I’ve never dated.” – Harvey
- Dr. Kelso: “I’m tired of patients complaining about being called dummos, tubbos, smokers, and jamokers. Whatever the heck jamokers means.”
- Dr. Carter: “I was actually saying ‘jokers’ and I had coffee cake in my mouth.”
- “We can be friends with benefits.” – Elliot
- “Ah, back in my residency, I remember… blah, blah, blah, nostalgic tale. Now get the heck out of my office!” – Dr. Kelso
- Dr. Carter: “So my girlfriend serviced most of the staff? I’m proud of her dedication to medicine.”
- Carla: “It’s not like you haven’t been with other people. Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife…”
- Dr. Carter: “Can you please stop talking about my ex-wife?”
- Carla: “I will if you will.”
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In summary, Scrubs remains a beloved comedy that perfectly balances humor with poignant moments, making it a show worth revisiting even two decades later. Whether you’re in need of a good laugh or a dose of nostalgia, these quotes and moments deliver both in spades.
Keyphrase: Scrubs quotes and moments
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