Despite its brief three-season run in the early 2000s, ‘Arrested Development’ has cemented itself as a cult classic. Fans were thrilled when the series made its comeback on Netflix in 2013. The show chronicles the absurdly chaotic lives of the Bluth family as they grapple with their newfound, less extravagant lifestyle. Much like the characters in ‘Schitt’s Creek,’ the Bluths hilariously struggle to adapt to their stripped-down circumstances. Over its five seasons, the series has gifted us with countless laugh-inducing one-liners and memorable family moments.
To honor this beloved show and the joy it continues to provide, we’ve put together a collection of over 50 uproarious quotes from ‘Arrested Development.’ Dive in and enjoy the antics of television’s most dysfunctional family.
Michael:
- “Oh, Mom. After all this time, God’s not picking up your calls.”
- “What have we always said is the most important thing?”
- “Family.”
- “I was actually going to say breakfast.”
- “I believe that’s just another one of Mom’s tall tales, like, ‘I’d give anything for my children.’
- “Why are you squeezing me with your body?”
- “Maeby: ‘Do you know where I could find one of those gold necklaces with a T on it?’
- Michael: ‘That’s a cross.’
- Maeby: ‘Across from where?’
- “I don’t think us sleeping together is working out. You’re a grown man; you should be living with your mother.”
- “I tricked you, Mom. ‘Deceived’ sounds too playful.”
- “I’m not sure how ‘Solid as a Rock’ helps erase the fact that we built houses in Iraq.”
- “George Michael: ‘I have Pop Pop in the attic.’
- Michael: ‘What? The fact that you call ‘making love’ Pop Pop indicates you’re not ready.’
- “You seem more villainous than usual, Mom.”
Lucille:
- “Apparently, mood-altering meds lead to street drugs. That’s what that handsome doctor said on The Today Show.”
- “That was Tom Cruise, the actor.”
- “They said he was some kind of scientist.”
- “She thinks I’m too critical. That’s just one of her faults.”
- “I’m one of the few honest people I know.”
- “Dinner is served! We’re having Lindsay chops. I want her to be prepared in case a clever bully comes along.”
- “Here’s some cash. Go see a star war.”
- “Lucille: ‘Get me a vodka rocks.’
- Michael: ‘Mom, it’s breakfast.’
- Lucille: ‘And a piece of toast.’
- “I mean, it’s just one banana, Michael. What could it possibly cost, $10?”
- “I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.”
- “I’d need to wake up pretty early to get drunk by 1 o’clock.”
- “Lucille: ‘It’s the only hair he has. He’s an alpaca.’
- Michael: ‘He has alopecia.’
- “No sugar for you. You just get worse.”
- “I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.”
Greg:
- “There’s a fair chance I might have committed some light treason.”
- “There’s always cash in the banana stand.”
- “I’m trying to choose which gang to join.”
- “I just want my brother to envy my wealth, but he’s got that hair. Why can’t I have both hair and money?”
- “I’m going nuts with boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights and movie nights. And sometimes, both!”
- “Maybe it was my 11 months in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks in there, but he was our miracle baby. I was too burnt out to care, so he turned out a little soft, you know? A bit doughy. I’m not sure, maybe it was my fault.”
- “You were just a turd, you know? You couldn’t kick, and you couldn’t run—you were just a turd.”
Brandon:
- “I’m a scholar. I delight in scholarly endeavors.”
- “Yes, they even touched my Charlie Browns.”
- “The Army had a half day.”
- “Mom always told us to curl up in a ball and stay still when confronted.”
- “Unlimited juice? This party is going to be epic!”
- “Do you think I could snag a hit of that juice box?”
- “They allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they’re not fond of it.”
- “Michael: ‘Buster, you can’t zip-line over there.’
- Buster: ‘Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother’s Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.’
- “You lied to me. You said my FATHER was my father, but my UNCLE is my father. MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE!”
Linda:
- “Great, so now we don’t have a car or a jet? Why don’t we just take an ad out in ‘I’m Poor’ magazine?”
- “If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the room, I’d slap your face.”
- “It’s vodka. It goes bad once it’s opened.”
- “Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it quickly enough.”
- “We’re just going to have a more normal arrangement. I’m going to sleep with my daughter, and you’re going to sleep with my husband.”
- “Linda: ‘I care deeply for nature.’
- Michael: ‘You’re wearing ostrich-skin boots.’
- Linda: ‘Well, I don’t care about ostriches.’
Gabe:
- “I’ve made a massive tiny mistake.”
- “I hear the jury’s still out on science.”
- “Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. Lead this blind girl on so Dad doesn’t have to face his punishment.”
- “I’m a gentleman honey farmer.”
- “Taste these tears. Taste my sadness, Michael.”
- “She’s not ‘that Mexican,’ Mom. She’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something.”
- “Let me ask you. Is this a business decision or is it personal? Because if it’s business, I’ll leave happily. But if it’s personal, I’ll go away… but I won’t be happy.”
- “Portugal? Gonna live it up down ol’ South America way, eh Mikey?”
For more laughs and insightful quotes, check out this link.
In summary, ‘Arrested Development’ remains a treasure trove of humor, showcasing the Bluth family’s outrageous antics and unforgettable lines. If you’re looking for more information on family-building options, this resource is excellent. For those considering home insemination, you can find helpful tools at Cryobaby.
Keyphrase: Hilarious quotes from Arrested Development
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