Dear Family,
It’s time for me to express some long-overdue thoughts, and I take full responsibility for not addressing this sooner. My previous silence came from a place of privilege, but I can no longer remain inactive. I should have spoken up the first time I heard derogatory language, such as the n-word, thrown around casually during our family gatherings. Merely saying, “That’s not acceptable,” or even walking away was never enough.
I regret not confronting you sooner about the willful ignorance that has become a daily ritual for some of you. I remember feeling confused as a child when I overheard comments suggesting that slavery was somehow a badge of honor for our family. The idea that our lineage has anything to do with the horrific legacy of slavery is not something to be proud of; it’s a deep wound that needs addressing, not a joke to laugh about.
Let’s be clear: our family history doesn’t include slave ownership. We were poor immigrants from Italy and Acadia, struggling to make ends meet. Yet, some of you cling to the idea that being associated with whiteness is a point of pride, even though it’s rooted in oppression. We should not glorify a legacy that has caused immense suffering.
I’ve recently made a personal decision to change my last name to honor my grandmother, a woman who faced her own struggles. This change is a step toward rejecting the patriarchal systems that have influenced my identity. I chose to keep my son’s last name as a way to maintain a connection, but now, I realize I must take action to dismantle the toxic ideologies that have been passed down. I will be changing my son’s last name to reflect my values and create a matrilineal legacy.
I recognize that some family members do not share these bigoted beliefs, but by remaining silent in the face of intolerance, you allow it to fester. I urge you to join me in speaking out against racism and sexism, even if it means confronting those closest to you. Your support for me during my journey of self-discovery was appreciated, but it’s time to extend that allyship to others beyond just me.
Bigotry is not a minor flaw; it defines a person. You can’t be “a little bit” racist or sexist. It’s essential to stand firmly against these ideologies. While I once hoped that avoiding conflict would lead to gradual change, I now understand that my silence does more harm than good. My son is learning from my actions how to navigate this world, and it’s crucial for him to see me actively oppose hatred and discrimination.
From this point on, I will not tolerate any form of racist or sexist language or behavior. I will address it head-on, no matter how subtle it may seem. Your “good intentions” do not negate the harm caused by your words. I want my son to understand that he can challenge these views, and I will not shield him from the harsh realities of bigotry.
This decision to stand up is not just for my son’s future but also a necessary step for my own growth. I hope that you can reflect on these words, and if you’ve been silent about these issues, it’s time to speak up.
In conclusion, this is not just a warning—it’s a commitment to change within my family and a call for accountability for us all.
Summary
In this heartfelt letter, the author addresses family members about their racist and bigoted views, expressing regret for past silence and emphasizing the need for accountability. The author announces a change of their son’s last name to reflect progressive values and encourages family members to stand against intolerance.
Keyphrase
Racism in Family Dynamics