The common consensus among parents is that adding a third child to the mix is a breeze compared to the transitions from zero to one or one to two. “You won’t even notice the third,” they claimed. Well, let me tell you, that is far from the truth. Perhaps it’s the age gaps between the kids, their distinct personalities, or maybe our family is just a unique case in a sea of seemingly perfect families. Regardless, when our third little one arrived, everything changed—dramatically.
New Challenges and Adjustments
For us, the leap to three kids introduced a plethora of new challenges and adjustments:
- Dining Out: We’ve nearly given up on dining out, except in dire circumstances. My partner and I used to pride ourselves on being food enthusiasts. We frequently enjoyed restaurant meals even after our first two children arrived. I felt accomplished for maintaining that lifestyle, even when it was difficult. However, with the third child, it became an overwhelming task. Suddenly, there were more kids than adults, and keeping them content and quiet for even a short meal felt like an impossible mission. What was once enjoyable became a terrifying and expensive endeavor. Now, takeout is our go-to, often consumed in the front seat of the car while the kids munch on their homemade lunches or in front of the TV after the little ones are tucked in bed.
- Caffeine Dependency: For the first time, I found myself reliant on coffee. I’ve always enjoyed a good cup, treating myself to a mocha or caramel macchiato on particularly tough days. Initially, coffee was a luxury—a reward for surviving motherhood. But with a third baby whose sleep schedule was all over the place, I found myself drinking coffee daily, often multiple times. My standards dropped significantly; no longer was I only drinking artisanal espresso from the local cafe. Instant coffee at home became my lifeline, as I needed caffeine to muster the patience required to manage three energetic kids all day long.
- Home-Cooked Meals: Home-cooked meals? Forget about it. Now, we whip up something homemade only a couple of times a week. Honestly, who has the time or energy for more, even with caffeine fueling me? On the other nights, we rely heavily on freezer leftovers (I now batch-cook meals for this very reason) or the occasional frozen dish from Costco, not to mention takeout from our favorite spots. And on those especially exhausting nights when dinner feels insurmountable, we might just toss a plate of crackers and nitrate-free pepperoni alongside a pouch of applesauce and call it a meal.
- Screen Time: Screen time has gradually crept up to the maximum recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Before the arrival of our second child, my firstborn had no TV time whatsoever. That evolved to allowing a couple of PBS shows after the second was born. But with the third, I craved a distraction for the older kids while I nursed, cleaned up messes, or simply caught my breath. Having three kids underfoot during meal prep was a test of patience I repeatedly failed. Now, we’ve instituted a limit of four shows a day, and when illness strikes? All bets are off; two hours of TV turns into twelve.
- Germ Aversion: Speaking of illness, by the time our third child was born, I developed a serious aversion to germs. You’d think I’d be accustomed to them by now, but after enduring a winter filled with the flu, fevers, ear infections, and other ailments, I found myself on high alert. I’ve spent a small fortune on vitamins and elderberry syrup as preventative measures, and it hasn’t been enough. I’m ready to raise the white flag in surrender, though the thought of that is terrifying.
- Letting Go: I also relinquished control over what my children wear. In fact, I’ve stepped back from many things that they can independently handle. Who knew a 3-year-old could dress herself? And does it really matter if my kindergartener chooses a mismatched outfit? I didn’t realize how liberating it would be to let go of the little things. It feels like shedding a weight I didn’t know I was carrying.
This list barely scratches the surface of how our lives have transformed since our third child joined the family. Everything has changed, and we continue to evolve. Life is undeniably more challenging; some days drag on while others slip away too quickly. We’ve all had to adapt in ways we never anticipated, often in unexpected ways.
But those who claimed that adding a third child wouldn’t make much of a difference got one thing right—our lives have grown richer. Our hearts are fuller. The laughter and love that accompany a larger family make it all worthwhile. The joyful moments are enough to make us even consider the idea of adding one more child to our crew. Imagine that.
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Summary
The transition to having three kids can be more challenging than expected, from dining out and meal preparation to managing screen time and dealing with germs. Embracing the chaos can lead to richer family experiences filled with laughter and love, making even the thought of a fourth child seem enticing.