I placed my hand on the bed. Ugh — another wet spot. As I stepped into the room, a familiar odor hit me. But how did this happen? I replayed the events of the night. We had stopped all drinks by 7:00 p.m. and even woke our 11-year-old son, Jake, at midnight for a quick bathroom visit. Wait, we missed that late-night check. I had promised to do it, but I got sidetracked by laundry on the floor.
Yes, our 11-year-old still experiences bed-wetting. It happens often enough — once or twice a week — that he needs to wear pull-ups. We have three waterproof mattress covers that we cycle through the wash, but his mattress still carries a faint odor. We’ve held off on buying a new one because what would be the point? Until Jake outgrows this phase, any new mattress will likely face the same fate.
In the beginning, this situation caused us a lot of concern. My partner, Mark, was particularly anxious. He would express his frustration to Jake, asking, “Why can’t you just wake up to go?” or “How don’t you feel it?” He even questioned whether Jake was being lazy, thinking maybe he felt the urge but chose to just let it happen because of the pull-up. I knew that wasn’t true. Every time he woke up wet, he was embarrassed.
After discussing it with our pediatrician, who reassured us that Jake was healthy, we learned that late bed-wetting is more common than people realize. It’s a topic rarely talked about, often hidden behind feelings of shame. When I confided in a few close friends, it became clear that we weren’t alone. If your child is also struggling with this issue, know you are not alone either.
When to Consult a Doctor About Bed-Wetting
While bed-wetting is more common than you might think, it can sometimes signal a more serious issue. According to the Mayo Clinic, if your child continues to wet the bed after age seven, it’s advisable to consult a doctor to rule out any underlying health concerns.
You should also reach out to a healthcare professional if your child suddenly starts wetting the bed after being dry for months or if bed-wetting is accompanied by painful urination, discolored urine, snoring, or excessive thirst. These symptoms could indicate a urinary tract infection, sleep apnea, or in rare cases, type 1 diabetes. If your child is experiencing excessive thirst, fatigue, and weight loss, contacting a doctor immediately is essential.
Why Older Kids Might Wet the Bed
For otherwise healthy children, several factors might contribute to ongoing bed-wetting. They may have a smaller bladder or struggle to recognize when their bladder is full. Deep sleepers may not receive the signal from their brain to wake up and use the bathroom. Hormonal imbalances can also play a role; a lack of anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) may lead to nighttime urine production.
Stress or anxiety can be triggers as well. If your child typically doesn’t wet the bed but starts doing so during a stressful period, it’s worth discussing with a doctor or therapist. Genetics also come into play; children with parents who wet the bed later in childhood are more likely to do the same. Additionally, bed-wetting is more prevalent among kids with ADHD.
Jake has a combination of factors contributing to his bed-wetting: his father, Mark, was a late bed-wetter, he has ADHD, and he’s an exceptionally deep sleeper. Nevertheless, he’s healthy. Our pediatrician mentioned that medication could help during sleepovers to prevent nighttime urination. So far, Jake has managed by being mindful of bathroom breaks around midnight and limiting evening fluid intake while wearing his pull-up discreetly. He reassured me that he wouldn’t feel too embarrassed if an accident occurred, as his sleepovers have mostly been with family or close friends.
We remind him that bed-wetting is beyond his control and nothing to be ashamed of. After all, it’s impossible to stop something involuntarily happening during sleep. Mark has learned to be more understanding as well, realizing there’s nothing “wrong” with Jake. I think he had his own issues with shame stemming from his late-bed-wetting experiences.
Steps to Help Reduce Bed-Wetting
There are several strategies you can implement to help your child learn to wake up to use the bathroom. Bed-wetting alarms can alert your child when they start to wet the bed, ideally at the first sign of urination, allowing them to stop mid-stream and finish in the bathroom. Reducing fluid intake a couple of hours before bedtime can also be beneficial, but ensure your child stays hydrated during physical activities.
Encouraging “double voiding” — having them urinate once during their evening routine and again right before sleep — can help, too. I often wake Jake around midnight, just before I go to bed, and although he barely wakes, it’s effective. One thing you must avoid is shaming your child for bed-wetting, as it only increases anxiety, which can worsen the situation.
Among parents I’ve spoken to, most observed that their children eventually outgrew bed-wetting, with only one needing medication for persistent issues. I’ve noticed that Jake’s bed-wetting has decreased; it used to be two to three times a week, and now it’s down to once, sometimes twice. The reality is, for some kids, bed-wetting is a prolonged process influenced by various factors. It’s nothing to feel embarrassed about, nor should it be a source of stress for you or your child.
For more insights on managing this issue, check out our other blog post here.
Summary
Bed-wetting can persist longer than many parents expect. While it often resolves on its own, understanding the underlying reasons and addressing them with compassion is crucial. Consulting with a doctor is a smart step if concerns arise, as various factors—including genetics, sleep patterns, and emotional stress—can contribute to this challenge. Remember, it’s important not to shame your child, as this can lead to increased anxiety and exacerbate the issue.
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