When my first two children were little, I found myself balancing two part-time jobs around my ex-husband’s demanding 60-hour work weeks. The societal pressure was heavy — people told me it was my duty to stay home and nurture my kids.
Then, life threw me a curveball. After two surgeries and a diagnosis of a chronic illness paired with anxiety, I could no longer work. Suddenly, I was bombarded with messages from other women who managed to juggle full-time jobs and family responsibilities despite their own health struggles. I was left questioning my worth and feeling like whatever I did was never sufficient.
With no job to anchor me, I made my kids my everything, believing that was my sole purpose. Yes, motherhood brought joy, but let’s face it, there were days that felt overwhelmingly challenging. Those sweet moments of cuddles and bedtime stories faded as schedules filled with karate, football, and dance took their place. I felt my need for validation slip away as my children became more independent.
Like a boomerang, the negativity I projected bounced back at me. I became sarcastic and passive-aggressive, feeling unappreciated and, if I’m honest, resentful. Other moms seemed to have it all together, while I was left shouting out the door, “I love you! Have a great day!” only to return to a kitchen chaos that made me feel like a glorified maid.
After a long day, my then-husband would come home, glowing with stories while I stood there, sticky from syrup and clad in my old, comfy clothes. When he asked how my day had gone, I often replied with a forced, “Yep, just great.” But deep down, I longed for solitude, even as I craved connection.
Years passed with little focus on self-care, and self-loathing crept in. It wasn’t until my 17-year-old son, Ethan, said something that shifted my perspective entirely: “Mom, I’m really proud of you for doing something for yourself.” In that moment, tears of joy streamed down my face. I realized I hadn’t just neglected myself; I had taught my children a skewed view of self-worth.
The saying, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” couldn’t be more accurate. Don’t wait years to prioritize self-care. Whether your child is a newborn or an adult, take time today to do something that ignites your spirit. Our children learn through our actions more than our words. We can’t encourage them to pursue their dreams if we don’t chase our own.
We shouldn’t preach self-acceptance while criticizing our own bodies or emotional struggles. If you want your child to feel safe sharing their feelings, you must admit to having them too. It’s time to stop being hypocritical and simply be human.
If you want to make your child proud today, invest in yourself. Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity that brings peace and joy. It’s akin to the continuous waves that kiss the shoreline, reminding us that life is messy, and that’s perfectly okay.
Jump into the chaos, embrace spontaneity, and let your kids see you take that leap. They’re waiting for you to show them how to jump in, too.
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Summary
In the journey of motherhood, the importance of self-care can often be overlooked, as I learned from my teenage son. His encouragement made me realize that prioritizing my well-being is essential not only for myself but also for setting a positive example for my children. Embracing self-care allows us to model authenticity and passion, teaching our kids the value of pursuing their dreams and emotions.
Keyphrase: Importance of self-care in motherhood
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