Picture this: I’m in the checkout line, wrestling with my toddler who’s determined to launch snacks from the cart onto the conveyor belt. At the same time, I’m trying to keep my older kids nearby. That’s when a woman behind me decides it’s the perfect moment to start a chat. She beams at my children and says, “I adopted a cat last year. Isn’t adoption wonderful?”
I give her a look that says it all. Did she really just equate inviting a cat into her home with my children’s adoptions? This isn’t the first time I’ve encountered such a misguided comparison, and I know it won’t be the last. The act of rescuing a pet—filling out some forms and paying a fee—simply doesn’t compare to the complex, emotional journey of adopting a child. Not even close.
I truly appreciate that some people choose to bring furry companions into their lives instead of having children. There’s nothing wrong with that choice. However, equating the lengthy and often costly adoption process to the simple act of picking an animal for companionship is just plain wrong.
Sadly, that’s not the only thoughtless comment we encounter. My children are black, while my husband and I are white, which leads many strangers to ask intrusive questions. It’s not uncommon for us to be approached in places like airports, parks, or even restaurants. People feel compelled to ask if my kids are “real” siblings, why we didn’t have biological children, how much they “cost,” or even about their birth families. I’ve even been told that I’m bound to get pregnant now that we’ve adopted. We’ve heard it all, and I have responses ready for every comment—none of which involve sharing personal details about my children’s adoption stories. That’s none of your business.
The overuse of the term “adoption” particularly irks me as the holiday season approaches. Just recently, a woman in a local parenting group was thrilled about her plans to “adopt” elderly people for Christmas. Curious, I read on to discover that she meant buying gifts for residents of a nursing home. Is this a wonderful initiative? Certainly! It’s heartwarming to provide joy to those who might not receive gifts otherwise. But why use the word “adopt”?
Before you rush to quote the dictionary definition of adoption, I am fully aware that the term isn’t exclusive to parents adopting children. However, when we dilute the meaning of adoption to garner attention or positive vibes, it crosses a line.
During the holiday season, numerous organizations capitalize on the word “adoption” in their marketing efforts. Take, for example, the Elf on the Shelf merchandise that features “Adoption Center” signs. You can choose among various elves to “adopt” for your holiday festivities. Last year, I received a flyer from our local zoo promoting the “gift of adoption” for Christmas. By sending in a donation, we could become adoptive “parents” of a penguin—a penguin that would remain in the zoo while we received a stuffed toy and stickers in return.
Then there are the holiday “angel” trees inviting folks to adopt a family or individual in need. While I absolutely love the concept of gifting items to those in need, it’s essential to question how this relates to adopting a child.
Many people might dismiss my concerns as mere semantics, but they matter. Adoption requires commitment, emotional investment, and a complex process. It’s a journey that can take months, if not years, filled with paperwork, background checks, interviews, and inspections. Some families may finalize an adoption in a few months, while others may wait over a decade.
What adoption is not is a passing, feel-good moment meant for Instagram or a marketing tool for a charitable cause. It’s crucial to recognize needs and take action, whether for animals, humans, or various projects. All are valid causes worthy of support. However, the term “adoption” should not be misapplied.
I hope those who casually use the word “adoption” take a moment to reflect on its true meaning. Instead of co-opting this sacred term for every good deed, let’s find language that accurately describes our actions. You’re rescuing a pet, assisting an elderly individual, or supporting a cause—not adopting them.
For more insights on home insemination, you can check out our other post here. If you’re curious about at-home insemination kits, Make a Mom offers a great selection. For additional information on fertility options, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources.
In summary, while the desire to help others is commendable, it’s important to use language that reflects the gravity of actions like adoption. This term deserves respect, and we should be mindful of how it’s used.
Keyphrase: Rescuing a pet is not adoption
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]