We’ve all been there: scrolling through social media during a rare moment of downtime, only to stumble upon yet another friend who has decided to embark on the noble journey of coaching others to achieve their weight loss and health goals. You know the drill, right? You glance at your messages and—surprise!—you already have an invitation to join this “incredible company.”
If you haven’t experienced this, consider yourself fortunate. But for those of us who have recently welcomed new life into the world, it feels like we’ve become prime targets for these unsolicited offers. After all, I just had twins—surely I’m itching to shed that baby weight!
The typical message goes something like this: “Congratulations on your twins! I’d love to help you get rid of that baby weight!” First off, thanks for the congratulations, but here’s a hard pass! I barely know you, and honestly, I don’t appreciate being told that I need to lose weight.
Every time you mention my weight, it plants a seed of insecurity within me. That insecurity doesn’t just stay with me; it radiates out to my children, especially my impressionable toddler. One of my biggest fears as a parent is that my own insecurities will prevent my daughters from developing a healthy relationship with their bodies and self-image.
When you offer to “help” me get fit, it leads me to obsess over the calories in that cupcake I shared with my daughter. It makes me hesitate to join in the fun when she’s enjoying the cookies we baked together. It even pushes me to squeeze in a workout instead of taking a much-needed nap, prompting my daughter to ask why I’m too tired to play with her.
Then there are the pitches: “Just buy the Shakeology! It’ll give you back your energy!” you say. “It’s only the cost of one Starbucks drink a day! Surely you can manage that!” To which I respond, “I haven’t had a Starbucks since before I had the twins.” It’s a choice between your shakes or my daughters’ formula, so let’s get real here.
Now, don’t get me wrong—leading a healthy lifestyle is extremely important to me. However, the narrative that’s being pushed, such as “strong is the new skinny” or “I want to show my daughter that women should be strong,” often equates strength with flat abs and muscle definition. This sends the message that our worth is tied to how we look or what we eat.
I’d much rather teach my daughters to enjoy a balanced diet, relishing both broccoli and chocolate cake. I want them to move their bodies for fun, not out of obligation to fit some ideal of strength. It’s vital they understand that it’s perfectly fine to have lazy days and that there’s no such thing as “cheat” days—every food can be enjoyed in moderation.
It’s crucial for them to learn how to listen to their bodies rather than their minds, which often compare them to others. I want my daughters to know that even if they indulge a little or their bodies don’t fit the conventional mold, they are still valuable and worthy. The best way to instill this belief is by modeling it myself.
So please, stop with the unsolicited coaching invites. Let me bask in my journey of motherhood, complete with its love handles and unique challenges. I’m focused on raising strong, balanced women, and I simply don’t have the bandwidth for your pitches.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and fertility, check out this post on boosting fertility supplements and for a deeper understanding of pregnancy, refer to this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation.
In conclusion, let’s prioritize healthy conversations around body image and self-worth, especially for our daughters, who are watching and learning from us every step of the way.