“Grab a shoelace to tie off the umbilical cord,” my landlord told the 911 operator as I lay on the kitchen floor with a pool of blood forming beneath me. My partner, Max, quickly pulled a lace from his sneakers and asked, “Does it have to be clean?” Our newborn was nestled on my belly, wrapped in a towel.
In that chaotic moment, I certainly wasn’t thinking, “Didn’t we plan for delayed cord clamping for three minutes?” I was more like, “What in the world just happened?”
Despite all the effort I poured into crafting a birth plan, I completely overlooked a section for the worst-case scenarios I had only heard about in scary birth stories and late-night talk shows.
The night started with my water breaking — a dramatic gush reminiscent of romantic comedies. While my partner collected our things and called our doula and babysitter, I felt dazed. Before heading to the hospital, we quietly entered our toddler’s room to say goodbye on his last night as an only child. I barely brushed against his leg, unintentionally waking him. Oops! We tried tiptoeing out, but he began to cry, calling out, “Mommy, sing me a song.”
Before I could even start, I felt the unmistakable urge to push. “Call 911! The baby’s coming!” I shouted to Max and our landlord as they guided me to the floor. After a few intense pushes, our baby made his grand entrance right in our tiny kitchen, while the paramedics and our doula were still stuck in traffic.
“It’s a boy,” Max announced. But my only concern was, “Is he okay?” The sound of his cries filled the room, bringing relief. Meanwhile, our eldest was still sobbing in the next room. No birth plan could have prepared me for the surreal nature of that moment.
In the weeks that followed, everything felt off, or at least more challenging than I anticipated. I grappled with the trauma buried beneath the routine of late-night feedings and diaper changes. One night, I mustered the energy to make slow cooker oatmeal, mixing apples with coconut milk and cinnamon, only to realize in the morning that I had forgotten the oats.
When you’re in the middle of labor, your birth plan becomes irrelevant. The fancy candles you bought to set the mood won’t make a difference. The moment of touching your baby’s head while crowning? Spoiler alert: it feels squishy. And while laughing gas eased my first delivery, you quickly learn that the things you think will define your birth experience may slip your mind entirely. What you’ll actually remember is beyond what you can envision.
Giving birth introduces you to a fundamental lesson in motherhood: at some point, you have to let go of control. Embrace each breath and trust that you’ll emerge stronger and wiser. For someone like me, who thrives on perfection, this can be a tough pill to swallow.
As a new mom, I traded my cherished fiction for parenting manuals, believing that the more I read, the better I would be. Over time, I learned to lower my expectations and accept that life rarely goes according to plan.
There’s no birth plan that can encapsulate the overwhelming love you feel when you hold your newborn for the first time. No guide can prepare you for the torrent of emotions that accompany parenthood.
My older son, now three and a half, is intrigued by dinosaurs and is starting to grasp the concept of mortality. Recently, he looked at me with wide hazel eyes and expressed his fear of dying. “Can we die together?” he asked. I didn’t know how to respond, so I simply said yes.
Welcoming a baby is a bold leap into uncertainty. Of course, you should draft a birth plan—visualize it, meditate on it. But be ready to rip it up or at least create a blank one as a backup. For more insights into the journey of home insemination, check out this post on eligibility criteria here. And if you’re looking for ways to boost your fertility, make sure to visit this resource. For deeper understanding about IVF, this is an excellent reference.
Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, the author recounts the unexpected chaos of giving birth, emphasizing the futility of a rigid birth plan in the face of reality. The piece highlights the essential lesson of relinquishing control in motherhood and embracing the unpredictable nature of parenting.
Keyphrase: let go of your birth plan
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]