This morning, my phone buzzed at 7 a.m. I had already been up for two hours, yet somehow, my friend Jess knew that. I was in desperate need of another cup of coffee, especially since my toddler was trying to scale my pant leg. As I glanced at my screen, the first few words of a text caught my eye: “I’ve figured out your childcare dilemma.”
I couldn’t help but smile. I knew she was about to suggest something hilariously unorthodox, like hiring a Jersey Italian Mary Poppins. But more importantly, I appreciated that amidst her own hectic schedule, she took a moment to check on me.
Friendships can generally be categorized under one umbrella: they are either anchors that stabilize you or weights that pull you down. It took me until my 30s to discern the difference between the two types. It wasn’t just about recognizing who uplifted me and who dragged me down, but figuring out how to address these relationships once I did.
I was never good at having those difficult conversations. How do you tell someone, “You’re overwhelming me,” or “Your incessant drama is exhausting,” or simply, “Hanging out with you feels like work”? Yikes. So, I avoided those discussions altogether, pulling back from communication entirely.
Now I realize, perhaps too late, that some friendships that seemed like burdens could have been salvaged if I hadn’t shied away from those candid, necessary conversations that foster friendship growth.
I’m grateful to have a close-knit group of supportive friends who bring light and truth into my life every day. They aren’t afraid to meet me where I am, to point out when I’ve crossed a line, or to suggest I might benefit from seeing a counselor about certain issues. Through these interactions, I’m learning to reciprocate that honesty. It feels strangely vulnerable to admit this, but I cherish it more than wearing a forced smile and leaving things unsaid. This openness has allowed me to love more deeply and live more authentically.
Identifying friendships that weigh us down isn’t overly complicated; the challenge lies in what to do once we recognize them. That friend might just need a wake-up call regarding how their actions affect those around them. Or perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that we’re on different wavelengths and that it may be best to take a step back. Either way, you can part ways knowing you did what you could.
Now, when my phone rings, I expect messages filled with encouragement, humor, or even a meme. The friends in my life have full access to me, and I to them. Being anchored is about putting down roots, staying committed, and reflecting on how others perceive you.
On days when I can’t even remember to put eyeliner on both eyes before heading to work, I recognize that navigating the tough stuff is worth it if it means walking through life with those who ground me, challenge me, and keep me accountable. And yes, even those who scour the internet for a babysitter who has a clean driving record and a love for Jersey pizza. Now that’s a true friend!
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In summary, friendships can either elevate us or bring us down. Recognizing the difference is critical, and having the courage to engage in honest conversations can transform relationships for the better.
Keyphrase: types of anchor friends
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