There’s an iconic scene in an early episode of Sex and the City where Carrie has her first date with Mr. Big, and it leads to an unexpected night together. Back in my twenties, I was taken aback by the idea of being intimate on a first date. Fast forward to my thirties, and especially as a single mom, my outlook has shifted dramatically. For me, the notion of having sex on the first date is not just acceptable; it seems like a brilliant strategy.
As a busy single parent, my dating life is often confined to short windows of opportunity. I can only go out when my son is with his dad or at school, which gives me a sense of urgency to make the most of my time. Waiting on multiple dates to assess sexual compatibility feels impractical. It’s exhilarating to connect physically with someone on that first encounter; the excitement of newness and the release of built-up tension is simply irresistible.
I’ve learned to be straightforward about my desires, and doing so has been a liberating experience. However, reaching this level of comfort with my sexuality has taken time and mental reprogramming. For years, I grappled with feelings of shame and guilt, ingrained by societal messages that suggest casual sex is “slutty” or “trashy.” I remember a college friend who would criticize me for my choices, making me doubt my self-respect whenever I engaged in casual relationships. Ironically, her judgment never changed how others perceived me, which is a lesson worth noting.
Reflecting on my early relationships, I vividly remember overthinking the implications of sex too soon. In my first serious relationship, I convinced myself that intimacy would ruin any chance of progressing into something deeper. But ultimately, we were together for six years, and I don’t believe that my initial hesitation had any bearing on the relationship’s longevity.
As I stepped back into the dating scene last year, I made a conscious effort to silence those outdated internal voices. I realized that sexual chemistry is a natural part of forming connections. If I feel it, I should embrace it without guilt. After all, prioritizing my desires is essential to my happiness.
Dating in my thirties comes with a newfound confidence; I know what I want and won’t hesitate to act on it. I no longer care about others’ opinions regarding my choices. What happens between consenting adults in private is solely our business. Sometimes, relationships are about exploring physical intimacy rather than seeking everlasting love, and if that’s the case, why wait?
We need to break free from outdated societal norms and define our happiness on our terms. Engaging in sex on the first date doesn’t diminish our worth; it simply reflects confidence in pursuing what we desire. So, if it feels right, go ahead—enjoy the experience!
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In summary, embracing intimacy on the first date can be empowering, especially for those of us juggling parenting and dating in a time-crunched world. It’s about being confident in our choices and enjoying the moments we create.
Keyphrase: Sex on the first date
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