Dear Friend,
This isn’t written for my son; it’s more for me and perhaps for you. Let’s face it—teenagers aren’t exactly known for their enthusiasm in reading heartfelt letters from their mothers. As my son, Alex, just turned 16, I felt the weight of the day pressing down on me, just like I did on his 5th, 10th, and 13th birthdays. But this time, it felt different, more profound.
When Alex was 13, I poured my feelings into a letter, capturing the whirlwind of emotions inside me. It felt like a buzzing swarm of bees deep in my chest—restless and urgent. Initially, it mimicked anxiety, but there was also an undercurrent of anticipation. The thoughts kept circling, and with teenagers, there’s often more time to reflect than to converse.
I sat quietly with those buzzing feelings. It was a mix of excitement and uncertainty, tinged with a hint of sadness. I didn’t know how to express them, so I embraced the discomfort, allowing it to coexist within me.
On the day of his birthday, I experienced a familiar ache, reminiscent of the time my mother passed away. Words clawed at my throat, desperate to be voiced, but I stayed silent—holding back my emotions.
Alex’s birthday wasn’t marked by grand celebrations. It fell on a school day, and he opted out of a party with friends. I got him a gym membership, hoping it would give him an outlet, and I even opened a retirement account for him—practical, right? We indulged in a slice of cookie cake, and then he requested to see an R-rated film about mental health. We sat in silence in the car on the way there, which felt unnatural yet respectful. I was determined to give him space, even if it felt awkward.
On the way back, the silence continued until he pointed out my misuse of the word “commodity” during our conversation about the film. And in that moment, I felt the bees stir again—these words I longed to share but couldn’t because they were filled with sadness.
Why am I sharing this, you might wonder? Partly because I can’t keep these feelings bottled up anymore. As Maya Angelou famously stated, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” This phase of motherhood is undeniably tough.
The relationship with teenage sons can be challenging, regardless of the abundant love we feel. It doesn’t matter if they’re chatty or reserved, or if you once shared a close bond that now feels strained. The love you carry for them might weigh heavily, but it often seems like it goes unheard.
If you’re grappling with similar frustrations, know that you’re not alone. Many parents are navigating this rocky terrain, feeling bewildered and concerned about their role in their teen’s lives. Watching your child grow and face life’s lessons can be heart-wrenching.
This difficult season will pass, and things will evolve—I believe that. Do you?
Now, I think it’s time to write that letter to Alex, sharing the depth of my love for him, even if he won’t fully grasp it until later in life.
Hang in there, fellow parents. We’re in this together!
For parents interested in their family-building journey, check out more insights on navigating fertility at Make a Mom. And if you’re looking for additional resources on pregnancy, I recommend Womenshealth.gov.
Summary:
Raising a teenager is a complex emotional journey filled with anticipation, uncertainty, and love. As we navigate this challenging phase, it’s essential to acknowledge our feelings and share our experiences. Open communication may not always be possible, but understanding that we’re not alone in these struggles can provide comfort.
Keyphrase: Raising a teenager
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