While at my son’s sports practice recently, I found myself chatting with a fellow mom about managing her child’s ADHD. I shared that we opted against medication for my sons because it caused them to lose their appetite, and given their small size, we decided to discontinue it. She then began discussing her daughter’s friend, who is on medication for ADHD, mentioning that the friend often gives her all her snacks at school. “And of course, they’re packed with artificial colors and processed junk,” she remarked. “I told her she’ll blow up like a balloon if she keeps eating those snacks along with her friend’s.”
I was stunned. The child in question is merely seven years old, and here was this mom casually fat shaming a little girl.
I wish I could say I confronted her, but I didn’t. I stood there, shocked and speechless, allowing her to continue.
I know this isn’t an isolated incident. I frequently hear such remarks. A close family member often expresses her dissatisfaction with her own weight in front of my children, lamenting about being ‘fat’ or labeling certain foods as ‘bad.’ I care for her deeply, and I recognize that her comments stem from her own insecurities. She’s been conditioned to think this way and sees nothing wrong with it. While it’s not malicious, it is disheartening. Her self-loathing spills over, affecting not just me but anyone within earshot, especially my kids.
It pains me to think my children might ever hear a woman define her worth by her body size, regardless of who she is.
I often hear women whispering about their daughters’ thighs, bellies, and hips, worrying about their appearance and the implications of “staying that way.” I witness the same women criticize themselves, complaining about post-baby bodies or cellulite while we relax by the pool.
Yet, I never muster the courage to speak out against these harmful comments. The fear of confrontation makes me hesitate. I understand, in theory, that I should challenge fat shaming when I encounter it. I know firsthand the difference in treatment I received when I was larger; people treated me as if I were invisible. Now, as a smaller person, I receive kindness that was previously withheld. It’s a stark reality of being fat in America: to feel unworthy of acknowledgment, regardless of one’s attractiveness. Therefore, when I hear fat-shaming comments, I know how deeply they can wound.
It’s time for me to find my voice and address fat shaming when it occurs.
I need to confront my fears about speaking out. For instance, with the mom at practice, we were alone, and I struggle with confrontation. In the case of my relative, I hesitate because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or lose her approval. With other moms, the fear of losing friendships holds me back.
But what is really at stake? With the mom from sports practice, I might lose a casual connection, but do I really want to be friends with someone who worries about her daughter’s appearance? When I reassure them that all bodies are beautiful, do I want to be friends with someone who snaps back? (They probably won’t; they might even appreciate the support).
I must articulate the damaging effects of fat shaming in a meaningful way. It’s important to share my personal experiences: “I used to have negative feelings about my body, and it made me feel…” or “My mom’s constant comments about weight when I was young led to…” I can express that, “In our family, we focus on bodies as instruments for living, not objects to be judged because…” or “When I was heavier, the way people treated me was…”
This isn’t solely about my perspective; it’s a collective issue we all must address.
We must unite to combat fat shaming. Yes, I’m apprehensive about confronting it, but so is everyone else. If we remain silent, we contribute to the diet culture that fosters such behaviors.
It’s crucial we put an end to this. I am committed to doing the work necessary to challenge fat shaming, even if it leads to uncomfortable situations. I owe it to myself, my friends, and even to those women I’ve encountered who have apologized for existing in their space.
If you haven’t faced these issues personally, think of someone you love who has. When people engage in fat shaming, they are talking about those you care about—be it a partner, a parent, or even a friend who is struggling. Let’s come together to shut this down.
In summary, it’s imperative to stand against fat shaming, speak out, and create a culture that values all bodies, encouraging self-acceptance and kindness.
Keyphrase: Fat Shaming Awareness
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