April 16, 2023
My son recently returned from school with a huge grin, proudly holding a certificate. “What’s that, sweetheart?” I asked, kneeling to meet his gaze. “I won an award!” he exclaimed. His hard work in expressing his needs and responding appropriately had earned him a “Do the Right Thing Award,” announced by the principal over the loudspeaker, much to the delight of his classmates.
Parents can attest that fostering connections through positive reinforcement can be transformative for children. This doesn’t mean every child receives a trophy; instead, recognition and connection can be incredibly simple yet impactful.
In an enlightening video from Edutopia, produced by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, we see students’ reactions when school staff take a moment to acknowledge them with eye contact, kind words, and even high-fives. Why are these gestures so effective? The answer lies in science.
Dr. Emily Grayson, featured in the video, explains, “When children experience trust and consistency, oxytocin is released. This hormone has numerous positive effects on brain development.” Often referred to as the “love hormone,” oxytocin fosters feelings of attachment and well-being.
The video emphasizes that when teachers and school staff cultivate positive, long-term relationships with their students, academic success tends to follow. Students who feel safe and valued are more likely to engage in their learning environment, making relationships crucial to educational success.
I witnessed this firsthand during my nine years teaching college English. Many of my students faced significant challenges—one struggled with a seriously ill parent, while another juggled two jobs and classes as a single parent. I made it a priority to build connections with my students. I was there early to greet them and stayed late to offer support. I even assisted some in accessing counseling services for anxiety and depression.
My students recognized that I valued their well-being beyond mere grades, which led to improved attendance, participation, and overall performance. Those I connected with most often earned better grades—not due to favoritism, but because they were more engaged in their educational journey.
So when my son came home with his award, I was overjoyed. I understand that success doesn’t come easily to every child, but I also know that caring individuals—including his principal, teachers, and therapists—were cheering him on.
The message from The Beatles, “All You Need is Love,” resonates here. Connection is straightforward yet profoundly impactful. Unfortunately, teachers today face immense pressures and demands. My educator friends often describe their workload as juggling multiple trays, feeling overworked and undervalued. However, a small investment of time—a few encouraging words or a high-five—can significantly enhance the school day for students, many of whom may lack support at home.
Imagine if every morning began with a warm greeting for students. What changes might we witness? Would children be more inclined to excel academically if their fundamental needs for connection were met first? The answer is likely yes.
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In summary, prioritizing connections over grades can create a more supportive and effective educational environment. When students feel valued and understood, their potential for success expands.
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