Parenting Insights
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: Oct. 29, 2023
The other day, I found myself in awe of my 7-year-old son, Jake. I caught a glimpse of him lost in his own world while I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. He was chatting animatedly to himself as he packed toys and books into a bag. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen this scene unfold; Jake was deep into a story conjured from his imagination, moving from room to room, narrating his adventure. His creativity was palpable, and he seemed utterly content.
I envied that freedom to daydream. While I often find my mind wandering, I usually do it quietly, multitasking as I think about the next chapter of a book I’m writing or rehearse points for a presentation. I often imagine conversations with people I’ve never met or replay past events in my mind.
Interestingly, two of my three kids often engage in imaginative play; their toys become characters in elaborate stories. While I might overhear nonsensical dialogues, they aren’t meant for me. Daydreaming is a personal exploration that entertains us, helps process emotions, and ignites creativity.
However, when it comes to kids, their daydreaming might be seen as distractions or a lack of focus. I know how it feels when I ask my children to brush their teeth, and instead, their minds are lost in an alternate universe where “a wizard battles a dragon.” Teachers likely experience similar frustrations when they see a child doodling instead of solving math problems. This wandering mind can sometimes be misinterpreted as defiance or a sign of potential developmental issues like ADHD or autism.
Yet, a crucial distinction exists between a wandering imagination and more serious mental health concerns. A child who daydreams can typically be brought back to reality without much difficulty.
Contrary to the belief that daydreaming hinders learning, studies suggest it may actually enhance academic performance. Daydreamers are often more creative, which fosters curiosity and innovative problem-solving. These children typically exhibit strong social skills, having spent hours imagining interactions with peers and resolving conflicts in their minds.
Research from the University of Wisconsin and the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences indicates that wandering thoughts can lead to improved working memory. This type of memory allows individuals to retain and recall information, even amidst distractions. Our ability to remember tasks in our busy lives relies heavily on working memory—something that often clicks into place during moments of daydreaming, such as in the shower or while driving.
When I drift into daydreams, I sometimes don’t notice until something jolts me back to reality. The lingering effects usually leave me feeling less anxious and more open to new ideas. This enhanced focus can be crucial for problem-solving. Children experience similar benefits; their worlds can be overwhelming, and zoning out can serve as a healthy coping mechanism. A child who channels big emotions through play or art is less likely to disrupt their environment.
Among my children, Jake, who often daydreams, displays the positive effects of his imaginative mind. In contrast, my daughter Mia, who struggles to engage in such play, faces challenges with emotions and social interactions. She tends to act out and feel anxious, showing a clear connection between emotional intelligence and the ability to daydream.
While I’m not advocating for an endless escape into fantasy, it’s essential to recognize the value of daydreaming in our children’s lives. It allows them to entertain themselves while we tackle daily responsibilities, process emotions, and unleash their creativity. Daydreaming assists in honing their focus amid distractions and provides a safe space for exploration.
As parents, it’s our responsibility to occasionally guide them back to reality to manage responsibilities, but we should never discourage their imaginative journeys. Important cognitive and social growth occurs during these moments of creative thinking, ultimately benefiting their interactions with peers and enhancing their learning experiences.
Let them embrace being dreamers.