Reaching the ripe age of 38 puts me significantly closer to 40 than I am to 30. It’s a sobering thought, especially when I realize I hardly ever get carded anymore. While I can still “celebrate” if I load up on coffee and steer clear of dairy and gluten, let’s face it, the term “celebrate” feels a bit ironic.
I recognize that 38 isn’t ancient. My high school friends still recognize me on social media, despite a few extra wrinkles. My children are still young, and I occasionally find myself wiping their little behinds or slicing their hot dogs to prevent choking. So why do I feel older? Is this just the effect of parenthood? Whatever the reason, it’s frustrating, and I attribute it to the following factors that make me feel older than my years.
1. Kids’ Language (and also, my use of the term “language”)
Kids today, I simply don’t get it! A text from me to a friend might read: “Hey! I’m running about 10 minutes late. I’ll be there ASAP. What can I bring?” Meanwhile, a teen would text: “y u late.” Where did the words go? And what’s with all the acronyms? BRB? CYT? PAL? It feels like we need a new codebook just to communicate with anyone born after 2000. Remember when we only had J/K and WTF? I love a good abbreviation, but it’s exhausting trying to keep up with their lingo. And don’t even get me started on how “cool” has been replaced by “lit” or “turnt.” Just thinking about it makes me feel like I’m sprouting gray hairs.
2. Technology Use: Their Proficiency vs. My Struggles
While I’m busy scrolling through Facebook and checking email—apparently, both of which are “so last decade”—kids are zipping through apps I’ve never even heard of. Can you believe they don’t even use email anymore? I remember my first email account from college, and now it’s like a relic of the past. Teens don’t “talk” on their phones anymore; they’re mini-computers with endless apps. When it comes to “watching TV,” forget flipping channels like I do at 10 p.m. They can stream whatever they want at any time. I sometimes find myself wishing I could summon my kids to help me figure out how to use our smart TV.
3. Not Recognizing Celebrities Anymore
I grew up glued to award shows, eagerly awaiting the latest fashion and acceptance speeches. But when I recently tried to watch the Kids’ Choice Awards with my kids, I felt ancient. Who are these people? My kids were ecstatic about Jace Norman and JoJo Siwa, while I was left scratching my head. When I asked, “Where’s Justin Bieber?” and they looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language, I realized just how out of touch I had become.
4. The Kids’ Perception of “Old”
Hey kids, Fuller House isn’t exactly a new show! I watched those characters grow up when they were still wearing bright lipstick and baggy jeans. It’s hard for them to understand that “True Colors” wasn’t written for Trolls, or that the Jumanji soundtrack didn’t originally include the version they know. The original Jumanji was a board game, one that required human interaction and had no screens involved. And get this—the original story was from a BOOK!
5. The Calendar and the Reality of Aging
Remember when we thought it was fun to bring back styles from the ‘60s and ‘70s? Now I feel the sting of watching the decade I grew up in slide into the “oldies” category. The ‘90s were not just ten years ago—Friends first aired 24 years back! I can hardly believe that this year’s high school graduates were born in 2000. The realization that my 20-year high school reunion just occurred hit me like a ton of bricks.
These moments of realization have worn me down over time. It’s no longer shocking to hear ‘90s hits on the oldies station or to see reruns of Friends on Nick at Nite, which used to be the realm of our parents’ shows. It’s time to accept the truth: I’m getting older. But you better believe I’ll still dance in my kitchen, even if it’s to the Spice Girls, while reminiscing about the early days of VH-1. And if I pull a muscle, I’ll just take some Advil and get back to it. After all, I’m only 38!
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Summary:
At 38, I often feel older than my years due to the rapid changes in language, technology, and culture among the younger generation. From not understanding kids’ slang and feeling lost at award shows to realizing that the shows my kids rave about aren’t new, these experiences constantly remind me of my age. Even though the calendar and math can be harsh reminders of getting older, I still embrace the joy of dancing in my kitchen, no matter how old I feel.
Keyphrase: aging and parenthood
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