As a parent, I’ve noticed my daughter, Emily, has a particular expression we’ve dubbed her “sassy face.” It’s that moment when she tilts her head, locks eyes with me, and purses her lips into a straight line. That’s her cue to ignore my instructions. For instance, if I tell her to head to bed, she’ll shoot me the sassy face and continue watching TV.
Just the other day, at my son’s soccer match, I asked Emily to take her little brother to the playground. Instead, she turned, gave me that familiar sassy look, and marched off, leaving him right where he was. Each time she makes that face, I find myself saying, “Cut it out! Don’t look at me like that. Who do you think you are?” Yet, she proceeds to do as she pleases.
Despite my annoyance, there’s an undeniable respect that arises in me for her tenacity. Yes, I want to nurture kindness in my children, but I also want to ensure they can stand up for themselves and others. I don’t want my kids to be overly nice.
Before I had kids, I often heard my sister complain about her daughter’s defiance, labeling her as unruly. I reassured her, saying it was a sign of a strong-willed girl. “She’s bound for greatness,” I’d argue. My sister would give me a skeptical look, as if to say, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” And she was right; parenting a strong-willed child can be challenging.
This raises a crucial question: how do we balance fostering a child’s assertiveness without encouraging them to be too accommodating, risking them being taken advantage of? We want our kids to be the type of individuals who can advocate for themselves, request fair treatment, and stand up against injustice.
Reflecting on my own life, I realize I often played it too safe, missing opportunities to speak up for myself or others. I don’t want my kids to experience that same regret. Parenting, after all, involves nurturing the good traits while addressing the undesirable ones, all while maintaining our sanity.
So, when Emily gave me that look and headed for the playground, I paused her and initiated a conversation about respect. She pouted but listened. I expressed my desire for her to grow into a strong woman, but made it clear that respect within our family is essential.
Moments later, I witnessed a notable act of bravery. An older child on the playground had pushed a younger one, and without hesitation, Emily walked up to him, donned her sassy face, and told him to back off. She planted her feet firmly, just like she does when I insist she takes a bath or finishes her dinner. Unsurprisingly, the older boy backed down, intimidated by her resolve. Afterward, she helped the younger child up.
I pulled Emily aside after that incident, and she looked at me with those big blue eyes, clearly worried about getting in trouble. “What you did back there was amazing,” I praised her. Her face lit up with a smile. I emphasized that these are the battles worth fighting and that I want her to channel her strong will in the right way. She grinned and returned to the playground, feeling empowered.
This experience illustrates the fine line we walk as parents—encouraging our children to be strong advocates for themselves and others while teaching them when to step back. If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our post on at-home insemination kits, which offers valuable information for anyone on a fertility journey. Additionally, for couples navigating this journey, this resource provides expert advice. For further reading on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline is an excellent resource.
In summary, raising children who are both kind and assertive is a balancing act that requires intention and patience. We want them to be strong-willed, capable of standing up for what is right while also respecting the dynamics of family life.
Keyphrase: Raising strong-willed children
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