Dear Neighbor Below,

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I appreciate your thoughtful note regarding the volume of our little one. It’s always a delight to receive something in the mail that isn’t a bill! Your dedication to crafting a three-page letter is commendable. I regret that we haven’t set up an email exchange for more frequent chats.

You mentioned that our toddler’s morning vocalizations disturb your slumber as early as 6:00 a.m. I must say, considering our child rises at 4:30, it’s comforting to hear we’re not as noisy as I feared!

Thank you for your kind offer to assist us in selecting a “proper” carpet, given your background as an interior designer. Just out of curiosity, what would you recommend for a carpet that can withstand the aftermath of poop, vomit, and spaghetti?

I find your suggestion to take some toys outdoors intriguing. Perhaps I could encourage our toddler to play “bang the toy” on your air conditioning unit. Fresh air is great for everyone, especially when accompanied by a high chair’s surprise breakfast!

You might recall that I introduced myself when you moved in and mentioned, “Please let me know if we’re too loud.” It reminds me of how your boyfriend reassures you in a similar manner—like when he says, “No, sweetheart, those pleather pants look fantastic on you!”

You can hear my “choo-choo” sounds during story time? Just so you know, the air vents in our building operate both ways. By the way, I have my suspicions about your boyfriend. Sarah, who you should probably call less, may not be giving you the full story. You can trust me on this.

It seemed like quite a challenge last Thursday morning, balancing your green smoothie, coffee, and yoga bag while wearing heels on your way to your SUV. Your hair looked perfectly styled; I, on the other hand, was a few days overdue for a shower and my hair reflected that.

Don’t forget to grab your West Elm package by the front door. I’d hate for my son to “accidentally” jump on that “fragile” sticker!

Mail can bring us all together, right?

Best,
The Upstairs Mom

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In Summary

This playful letter addresses a neighbor’s concerns about noise from a toddler while weaving in humor and light-hearted jabs. It emphasizes the challenges of parenting while acknowledging the neighbor’s lifestyle.

Keyphrase: toddler noise complaints

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