As someone who has never personally faced mental illness, my understanding of its complexities has evolved significantly over time. My perspective changed dramatically when I married my husband, Mark, nearly two decades ago. He has grappled with anxiety for most of his life—not just the occasional nervousness that many experience, but a genuine disorder that can trigger panic without warning.
Today, I’m also the parent of a teenager, Lily, who battles anxiety and a specific phobia. Before this, I had no real concept of what a phobia entailed or the profound impact it can have on daily life. I quickly realized that for those living with anxiety disorders, basic tasks can require an immense amount of effort. It’s not that they are incapable of functioning; rather, it demands far more energy than it does for those of us who navigate life without the constant mental turmoil.
Many of us who haven’t experienced mental health challenges often misinterpret the struggles of those who have. It’s tempting to think that individuals could simply overcome their feelings by engaging in activities that help us when we feel anxious, sad, or overwhelmed. We may attribute their struggles to parenting styles, upbringing, or past traumas. While these factors can sometimes play a role, they certainly do not apply universally. It’s easy to mistakenly believe that someone is merely wallowing in their difficulties or using their condition as an excuse to avoid challenges.
What we must grasp is that mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or ADHD are not choices—similar to how a person does not choose to develop diabetes, Parkinson’s, or cancer. Yet, we often show more compassion and understanding towards those with physical ailments than we do towards individuals with mental health issues. Why is it that we find it simpler to empathize with those suffering from physical conditions?
Part of the answer lies in the nature of mental disorders. They often manifest as extreme versions of emotions we all experience. Everyone knows what it feels like to be anxious or fearful, and many have encountered profound sadness or restlessness. Ironically, this familiarity can lead to a misunderstanding, as we assume we can relate. Until I witnessed the realities of clinical anxiety firsthand and engaged in deep conversations with Mark and Lily about their experiences, I mistakenly believed I understood anxiety. But a fleeting moment of nervousness is worlds apart from a genuine anxiety disorder.
Another challenge in understanding mental illnesses is their invisibility. Most people would never suspect that Mark and Lily face the struggles they do. Much of their battle takes place internally, only revealing itself to those who are close to them. To outsiders, they may appear quiet or simply possess unique quirks. For instance, Lily’s emetophobia (fear of vomiting) might seem like a common aversion until you see her anxiously questioning whether the mayonnaise we just bought is safe, or realizing she cannot attend her karate class due to the overwhelming fear that someone might be unknowingly contagious. To many, she seems like a sweet and intelligent teenager, while only family and close friends are aware of her daily challenges.
Those of us who care for individuals dealing with mental health issues fully comprehend their struggles and the difficulty that arises when others don’t witness it. We recognize that treatment often involves a process of trial and error, focusing on management rather than quick fixes. We understand that solutions are not one-size-fits-all and that patience is crucial, especially when progress can feel like two steps forward and one step back. While medication can be beneficial, it isn’t the only avenue. Anyone who claims to have a miraculous solution likely lacks a true understanding of mental health.
It’s vital for those of us without mental illness to acknowledge the vastness of what we do not understand. Consequently, we should cultivate greater empathy and refrain from quick judgments. With nearly 1 in 5 individuals experiencing a mental illness each year, it’s clear that many of us know people who are silently fighting battles we cannot see. By working to eliminate the stigma associated with mental health, we can help our friends and family feel secure and supported as they navigate their challenges. For more insights on related topics, check out this authoritative resource on mental health.
In conclusion, understanding the complexities of mental health is essential. By fostering empathy and patience, we can contribute to a more supportive environment for those facing these challenges.