Parenting
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: May 14, 2020
Originally Published: March 15, 2018
Just the other morning, my son, Ethan, slowly opened the silverware drawer at 8:58 a.m. to prepare his breakfast—despite my reminders that we were leaving at 9 a.m. on the dot. I glanced at him and, in that moment, completely lost it for what felt like an eternity.
He told me I needed to relax, skipped breakfast, and sulked for a bit. But honestly, I didn’t care what he thought, and here’s why.
An hour earlier, as he lounged on the couch watching cartoons, I had already reminded him (for the second time) to make his breakfast. He assured me he would. Twenty minutes later, while I was finishing my own meal and getting ready, I had to remind him again, this time with a bit more urgency.
When I came downstairs just two minutes before our departure, he suddenly sprang up to make his breakfast. “No way,” I said. “You’ve had plenty of time, Ethan. I’ve reminded you too many times. We’re leaving now!”
At 14 years old and towering over six feet, I can’t physically force him to eat, but I can enforce consequences for not listening.
“It will only take a second,” he claimed. But after years of experience, I knew better; nothing ever takes just a “second” with him. He’s a clumsy teenager who spills things every few seconds, and I dreaded the mess that was sure to follow.
When he finally pulled the drawer open, I gripped the doorknob so tightly I thought I might break it. “Put on your coat and get out the door—now!” Yes, I was shouting. Yes, he asked why I always have to freak out. And yes, that only pushed me further over the edge.
While I sometimes feel guilty about losing my temper, it often seems that my kids only understand I mean business when I raise my voice. This ongoing battle has persisted since he was a toddler, and my other two children aren’t exempt from this “let’s test mom’s patience” tactic. It’s as if they think, “Mom isn’t too upset yet; I can still ignore her until she reaches her breaking point.”
That’s when I go from calm to furious in less than a second. The problem is, all they see is a mom who loses it over things like dirty dishes or being late. They conveniently forget the countless reminders and conversations that led to my outbursts.
They might think it’s unfair that I get angry so quickly, but what’s truly unfair is that mothers around the globe often have to yell to get their kids to comply. I could be mistaken, but it seems like they find it amusing to push us to the brink. I have no idea why they do this; perhaps they genuinely enjoy the challenge.
I strive to keep my cool, but my kids have a unique talent for pushing my buttons. It’s baffling—if they just did what I asked the first time, life would be smoother, and I wouldn’t lose my voice. You’d think it would take more effort to ignore me and deal with my frustrations than to simply follow instructions.
However, my three little rascals consistently prove me wrong. Or maybe they secretly thrive on the chaos—who knows?
I’ve discovered a technique that has significantly improved our mornings. No mom enjoys starting the day with a sore throat from yelling. Recently, Ethan needed a ride to his friend’s house, and it was crucial he arrived on time to meet others at the skate park.
While I was scrolling through my phone and we were running late, he stood by the door, visibly frustrated with my lack of urgency. When he expressed his anger, I asked him how he felt. “I’m anxious and really mad at you. Why are you being so mean?”
I explained that I wasn’t being mean; I wanted him to experience the frustration I often feel trying to get him out the door. “If you can be on time for me, I’ll make sure to be on time for you. Deal?”
There’s nothing like a teenager who’s late to meet friends to ignite motivation. This approach changed our dynamic for the better—no more yelling, and life is much more peaceful for both of us.
If you’re looking for more parenting tips and tricks, check out our blog post on the at-home insemination kit. They have some excellent resources, including insights on pregnancy that could be beneficial.
In summary, navigating the ups and downs of parenting can be challenging, especially when it feels like you’re constantly reminding your kids to do basic tasks. Finding strategies that foster cooperation rather than conflict can make a world of difference.
Keyphrase: Why Moms Lose Their Cool
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]