What I Want To Express To My Abuser

pregnant woman with hands on bellylow cost ivf

In light of the recent surge of #MeToo stories, I find it increasingly difficult to remain silent about my own experiences. There is a growing sense of empowerment in sharing our narratives, and I believe it’s time for me to share mine. For years, I imagined confronting you in a public space, laying bare my feelings and thoughts. However, it seems you have moved on, and I refuse to wait any longer to speak my truth.

When I think back to my childhood, I remember you as the older brother of a friend. You were a teenager, while I was just a young girl. I often attended her birthday parties, which included one memorable sleepover. After a night filled with games and laughter, we settled down for the night on the pull-out couch.

I’ve always been a deep sleeper, so it surprised me when you woke me the following morning while everyone else was still asleep. You claimed to have a special surprise for your sister’s birthday. You lured me into a back room with the promise of staging a birthday play—a secret performance, you said. Then you instructed me to remove my clothes so you could measure me for a costume.

At the time, I wore my favorite pajamas, resembling Princess Jasmine’s outfit from the latest Disney movie. I remember feeling confused as you took out a measuring tape. Your actions were inappropriate and confusing, and while I didn’t fully comprehend it then, I now recognize the severity of what transpired. You touched me in ways that left a lasting impact, and when you were finished, you told me to go back to the couch, leaving me bewildered and alone.

I returned to the couch, grappling with a sense of confusion and an inability to voice what had happened. The day continued as if nothing had occurred, and although I wanted to talk about the “play,” no one seemed to understand what I was referring to—not even you. It took years for me to process that moment, and I never spoke up. I thought perhaps I had misunderstood.

Years later, while watching an episode of Friends, everything came flooding back. The moment resonated deeply with me—the inappropriate actions of a tailor in the show mirrored my own experience. It was a painful revelation. I found myself wanting to confide in someone but hesitated, as it had been so long. Did it even matter now? Would you face consequences?

It wasn’t until a tearful night with my husband that I finally shared my story. You weren’t the only one; you were one of several who violated me during my childhood. I’m certain my husband struggles to process the weight of that revelation.

Now, I have questions for you:

  1. Why me? There were many other girls at that party. Did I seem more vulnerable? Had you harmed others before me? I wonder about your sister—did she experience similar trauma?
  2. Do you recall what you did, or do you block out your victims? Are those memories meaningful to you?
  3. I am now a parent, and your actions have instilled a fear in me for my children. I can’t leave them with babysitters, and even family members make me anxious if I’m not present.
  4. You have tarnished one of my fondest childhood movies. Aladdin was once a joy, but now it’s a reminder of that day. I want to share it with my children, but the memories flood back, tainting the experience.
  5. I’m married now and designed a special dress for my daughter, yet your actions haunt me. I measured her myself, terrified of what you did to me, and the memories of your violation surfaced, ruining a moment meant to be joyful.
  6. I despise you. While some find it in their hearts to forgive, I cannot. You’ve stolen a part of my life, leaving behind painful memories. I hope you face consequences that match the pain you inflicted on me.

It’s time for me to share my #MeToo story. Others need to know about you and those like you. They deserve to understand that they can still move forward despite their past. I might not have evidence or witnesses to pursue justice, but I possess a voice—a voice that can be heard. These stories must be told, and people like you must be held accountable.

By the way, if you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out our other blog posts, like this one on couples’ fertility journey. For those looking for comprehensive resources, this article provides an excellent overview of pregnancy options, and if you need an at-home option, this insemination kit is a great choice.

In summary, it’s essential to voice our experiences and stand against those who inflict harm. Sharing our stories is a step toward healing and empowerment.

Keyphrase: confronting childhood trauma

Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]

modernfamilyblog.com