As a Black woman with a candid message for my ‘woke’ white friends, I want to share some genuine thoughts. Most of my friends happen to be white, and while I used to overlook our racial differences, recent events have made me acutely aware of how these dynamics play out in our friendships. It’s not that I suspect them of harboring hidden prejudices, but rather, I’ve witnessed their fervent need to prove their “wokeness.” It often feels like a competition for who can appear the most progressive. Here’s the reality: this isn’t a game, and your efforts to showcase your allyship can sometimes veer into the territory of white feminism.
Let’s Take a Moment to Breathe
If you truly want to embody the spirit of being “woke,” there’s a lot to unpack. “You’ll call me out if I mess up, right?” This phrase echoes in my conversations with white female friends. I usually chuckle and say, “Sure, if I catch you.” But truthfully, it’s not my responsibility to point out your missteps. If you’re as enlightened as you claim to be online, you should recognize them yourself. However, since I know that’s not how it always works, let’s have an honest talk.
Commitment to the Cause
If you’re committed to the cause, you need to be all in. It’s not about cherry-picking what issues to support. Take the Super Bowl, for instance. I’m not particularly invested in football—I’m there for the snacks and occasionally the Halftime Show. This year, my long-time crush, Jake Mitchell, was headlining, and I was excited.
On game day, my social media was flooded with my white feminist friends expressing how much they loathed Jake Mitchell. “Unless he apologizes for what happened years ago, he’s canceled.” Let’s be real here. That incident, which happened ages ago, doesn’t need your voice. Janet Jackson is more than capable of speaking for herself, and it’s time to let that storyline rest. Your indignation doesn’t make you an ally.
The Disconnect
It’s frustrating to see a disconnect between passion for one issue and the lack of consistent support for Black women. You can’t be upset about a performance one moment and then don your “Girl Power” gear for a march the next, especially when those marches often center white experiences. Black women have always faced systemic oppression, and yet we’ve been overlooked in these movements.
You readily acknowledge Black women’s contributions when it suits your narrative, but where is that same energy for Black women in leadership today? You applaud figures like Michelle Obama and Oprah, but what about Kamala Harris or other Black women who have been working tirelessly in politics? If you want representation, support those already fighting the good fight.
Educating the Next Generation
I appreciate your efforts to educate your children about historical Black figures, but please expand beyond the usual names. Teach them about women like Zora Neale Hurston or Angela Davis—there’s a wealth of knowledge to impart. And while we’re at it, can we stop using Martin Luther King Jr.’s quotes to push your agenda? He was a complex figure, and his legacy shouldn’t be reduced to a meme.
You might champion Beyoncé’s call to action, yet struggle to name the significant contributions of the Black Panthers. It’s essential to recognize and honor those who laid down their lives for the cause. You mourn for the deaths of individuals like Michael Brown but may not even recognize names like Emmett Till. Black history is rich and multifaceted; don’t limit your understanding to what’s trendy.
Consistency is Key
You can’t choose when to be an ally. If you’re truly committed to the movement, you need to be consistent. Share stories from all women who have faced adversity, not just those that fit neatly into your narrative. And when you recommend charities, consider those that uplift Black communities.
Recognize that being “woke” isn’t just a trend; it’s a commitment to understanding and supporting all aspects of the fight for equality. So, let’s get our acts together, because I’m not here for half-hearted efforts.
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In Summary
If you claim to stand in solidarity with marginalized communities, be genuine in your support. Don’t just show up for the causes that are convenient or trendy—commit to understanding and uplifting all voices, especially those of Black women.
Keyphrase: “supporting Black women”
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