Sex as a Bargaining Chip? Absolutely!

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In the journey of a long-term relationship, you experience a variety of sexual encounters. There’s the “can’t get enough” sex reminiscent of pre-kids days, and then there’s the “let’s just make it quick” sex for when exhaustion sets in. You also have “let’s make up” sex after arguments, “baby-making” sex timed with ovulation, and the exhilarating “the kids are at Grandma’s, let’s go wild!” sex, where the door is daringly left ajar.

However, there’s another dimension that many couples navigate: sexual favors as a form of bartering. Imagine this scenario: it’s a chilly evening, you’re battling PMS, and a craving for Ben & Jerry’s strikes. You know your partner, Alex, enjoys oral pleasure just as much as you adore ice cream, so you make a playful offer: “If you brave the cold and fetch me some ice cream, I’ll return the favor with a blow job when you’re back.” A little elbow nudge adds to the teasing.

But Alex hesitates, weighing the warmth of the couch against the cold outside. So, you sweeten the deal: “Okay, two blow jobs—one tonight, one tomorrow.” Before you know it, he’s bundled up and headed out, having accepted the trade. You both get something you want, making it a delightful win-win.

Using sexual favors in this way can be a playful and effective tool for mutual enjoyment. It can even lead to new experiences—perhaps a little light bondage in exchange for a week off from cleaning the litter box might unveil some hidden interests. But remember, there need to be ground rules; this is about negotiation, not manipulation.

Establishing Ground Rules

First and foremost, both partners must enthusiastically agree to the arrangement. Consent is key. If Alex isn’t interested, you can’t sulk or whine until he changes his mind. If he says no, the deal is off, and you should move on without resentment.

Moreover, the agreement should not be coercive. Offering sex in return for something is acceptable, but you can’t hold it hostage. For example, saying, “Get me ice cream, and I’ll give you a BJ” is fine, but “No sex until I get my ice cream” crosses the line into manipulation, which is unhealthy.

Also, don’t barter for tasks that are part of your regular household responsibilities. Everyone has their roles, and it’s unreasonable to demand sexual favors in exchange for everyday chores. Instead, think of it as an extra incentive, not a replacement for what’s expected.

It’s essential that sex remains about intimacy and connection, not just a transactional exchange. While it can be fun to incorporate some bartering, it shouldn’t replace regular, loving intimacy. Regular sex should remain the foundation of your relationship.

Following Through on Promises

Lastly, if you’re striking deals, make sure to follow through on your promises. Bartering with sexual favors is like using a credit card; you might not pay immediately, but you will have to settle up eventually. If you don’t deliver, resentment will fester, and your partner might feel taken advantage of. But if Alex ever comes calling for his reward at an inconvenient time, you can politely request he wait until you’re free. Just remember to uphold your end of the bargain when the moment is right.

Ultimately, both partners should engage in this playful dynamic with no strings attached. By adhering to these basic principles—consent, fairness, and mutual enjoyment—sexual favors can add a fun twist to your relationship and provide everyone with what they desire.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to check the going rate for some yard work!

Further Reading

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Summary

In a long-term relationship, couples can explore sexual favors as a means of bartering for mutual satisfaction. Establishing clear ground rules is essential, ensuring both partners consent and feel comfortable. It’s important to avoid manipulation and focus on enhancing intimacy while keeping the exchanges fun and lighthearted. Ultimately, when done respectfully, these playful negotiations can enrich the relationship.

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