I find myself at a pivotal moment. Every time I pack away a season’s worth of my daughter’s clothing, I feel the weight of it. She’s already in 2T, and I can’t shake the feeling of denial.
Our storage closet is overflowing with onesies, blankets, and those adorable little hats. As my partner hoisted the box labeled 18-24 months to the top shelf, he casually asked if we should consider getting our daughter a toddler bed.
I couldn’t help but bristle at the thought. Clearly, we have no room for her crib in that mess. Where would he suggest we put it? We’re keeping it, right? Just in case?
I always believed I would instinctively know when it was time to stop expanding our family. Yet, I’m left with uncertainty, and it’s weighing heavily on my mind, keeping me up at night.
On one hand, I remind myself that no one regrets having children. The joy a new life brings to a family is undeniable. Of course, another baby would add to our happiness. But let’s be realistic here; my hands are already full with two.
Still, I fear the prospect of regretting the child that never comes. What if I reach a point in my life when I long for another baby, and it’s too late? That thought is enough to push me to say “let’s just go for it.”
But then, there’s that nagging voice inside me saying, “not yet.” And that moment of hesitation makes me ponder—what if she’s my last?
My little girl is growing up so fast, and it hits me hard every time I fold her new clothes and arrange them in her drawer. We’ve moved on from sweet cotton onesies to durable fabrics meant for a playful toddler. I know it sounds silly, but my heart isn’t ready for this change. I’m still clinging to those footie pajamas and the memories of the baby who wore them.
I wish we had taken more photos; as if the thousands of pictures on my phone aren’t enough. But what if she’s my last?
Her cheeks are thinning, and those lovely curls now cascade to her shoulders. They’re tied up in the cutest little ponytail, and it makes my heart ache. She’s my spirited, lively child—yet she’s undeniably a toddler now. The sweet infant scent has faded from her hair, and I can’t help but wish I had breathed it in more often, which may sound odd—but other moms get it.
As my husband and I finished sorting through her clothes, our daughter woke up and called out for us. We exchanged smiles, then raced down the hallway, playfully jostling each other for the chance to be the first to scoop her up from her crib. The thrill of hearing her delighted “Mama!” or “Dada!” upon waking is a moment we cherish.
It’s funny how we now compete for those little moments, from nighttime cuddles to Sunday strolls and even grocery trips. These were once moments we might have taken for granted with our oldest, but now we know better. One day you wake up and your chubby baby has transformed into a lanky kid. It’s beautiful, but could time slow down just a bit?
My husband reached her nursery first. He changed her diaper, showered her with kisses, and sang “Twinkle Twinkle” in the silliest voice I’ve ever heard. Watching from the doorway, I smiled, knowing he is savoring every second, as if this cherished phase of babyhood will soon be gone.
I understand his feelings completely. That nagging question looms over us both, reminding us to treasure every moment because what if she is our last?
If you’re considering expanding your family, check out our blog post on the at-home insemination kit for more insights. And for those looking to boost their chances of conception, we recommend boost fertility supplements. For additional information on fertility treatments, visit this excellent resource.
In summary, contemplating if this might be my last child is a bittersweet journey filled with love, uncertainty, and a longing to cherish every fleeting moment.
Keyphrase: what if this is my final child
Tags: home insemination kit, home insemination syringe, self insemination