This week, just like so many others, I found myself amidst a crowd of frazzled, overworked, and caffeine-fueled parents at the school playground. With my toddler in one arm and a forgotten lunchbox in the other, I listened as they brainstormed ways to counteract the reduction in recess hours at school.
“Recess is vital for our children’s cognitive, social, and emotional development,” they argued.
“Absolutely, all valid points,” I responded, my voice muffled by my three-year-old’s tiny hand. As I struggled to fit “address nationwide school recess crisis” into the ever-growing list of tasks swirling in my head, I realized: never mind the kids—I could really use a recess myself.
While many mothers excel at advocating for their children’s needs, we often neglect our own well-being. We settle for the basics: a few leftover sandwich crusts for lunch, a sporadic power nap to compensate for countless sleepless nights, and hydration that mostly comes from the wine we indulge in. The rest of our time is consumed by family, work, and the endless quest to become the ideal mother, wife, and person—all fueled by the pressure of Pinterest-inspired perfection.
When we do carve out “me time,” it often feels like just another task on our never-ending to-do list. We replace relaxation with self-improvement activities—reading, watching motivational talks, or even experimenting with various beauty products—all in the name of self-care. However, without a daily dose of unstructured downtime to recharge, we risk becoming exhausted, irritable, and unable to focus.
Ironically, the reasoning we apply to our own lack of leisure mirrors that of educational authorities. Just as they undervalue playtime for children, we undervalue rest for ourselves. We feel compelled to fill every moment with productivity, often believing that our worth is tied to our achievements. This mindset leads to a cycle of stress and guilt over not doing enough, whether for our children, our careers, or ourselves.
The reality is, when given a few free minutes, I often fill that time with tasks that require even more time. Instead of embracing a moment of relaxation, I default to chores—dishes, laundry, planning workouts, or tackling global issues like gun control. The outcome? A perpetually overwhelmed woman, stuck in a cycle of catch-up.
To regain balance, I established the “80/20 Rule for Moms on the Brink.” Instead of overscheduling my free time with tasks, I allocate 80% for necessary responsibilities and reserve 20% for genuine relaxation. I’ve even started to share what I do with my “mom recess” time—sipping tea, enjoying a moment of silence—rather than just the accomplishments of the 80%.
Whether you adopt the 80/20 Rule or formulate your own approach, it’s crucial for us to embrace periods of unapologetic unproductiveness. In doing so, we may discover that carving out time for ourselves leads to tangible results—happiness, the very essence of the cognitive and emotional benefits we advocate for our children. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination options, check out this artificial insemination kit as part of your journey. For even more insights, this article offers a wealth of information. Additionally, for those delving into pregnancy topics, Healthline provides excellent resources on in vitro fertilization.
In summary, let’s remember that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for our well-being.