10 Insights Gained from My Divorce Journey

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Just over a year ago, I found myself in a daunting place, unsure of what the future held. My partner was about to leave, and we were on the cusp of breaking the news to our children about our separation. The weight of uncertainty was overwhelming, and fear gripped me. However, a year later, I’ve emerged with valuable lessons that transformed my outlook.

  1. My Strength Surprised Me
    I discovered that I’m more resilient than I ever imagined. I tackled home repairs, learned to operate a generator, and even bought a car solo for the first time in almost two decades, bringing my kids along for the experience. While I don’t need a partner for home projects, I found a reliable handyman through a friend—another single mom who gets things done. I realized I can handle many tasks, but it’s also okay to seek help when overwhelmed. Asking for assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  2. I Am Fully Capable
    A common fear during divorce is whether one can manage everything alone. The answer is a resounding yes! It’s not always easy, and missteps are inevitable. Some days, anxiety about managing it all creeps in, but you adapt. Women are naturally skilled at multitasking. Whether it’s waking up early to pay bills or learning to fix things via YouTube, you find a way to juggle it all.
  3. Cherish Your Friends
    Friendship is invaluable, whether old or new. Surrounding yourself with supportive people—be it a sister, a close friend, or a group of others who’ve also faced divorce—is essential. Don’t isolate yourself. Speak up and let them be your sounding board; they genuinely want to help.
  4. Anticipation Lifts Your Spirits
    Giving yourself things to look forward to can be incredibly uplifting. This isn’t about escaping your problems but rather planning small joys that carry you through tough times. Treat yourself to a new nail polish, enjoy a movie night, or grab your favorite takeout. It’s crucial to take time for yourself amid the chaos.
  5. Accomplishing Dreams is Empowering
    Whether it’s organizing your closet or taking that long-desired solo trip, now is the time to invest in yourself. Completing tasks you’ve postponed can be incredibly rewarding. I once dreamed of hosting parties, and now, I make it a point to gather my favorite people. It brings joy back into my life.
  6. Crying is Not a Sign of Weakness
    Prepare yourself; tears will flow. It’s a natural part of the healing process. Letting your kids see you cry can show them it’s okay to express emotions. This past Christmas, while decorating our tree, we all shed tears but also embraced the moment, discussing our feelings and creating new traditions together.
  7. Embrace Solitude
    Spending time alone is crucial for rediscovery. Engage in activities you love, whether it’s watching movies, reading, or dancing. If you fill every moment with others, you risk losing touch with yourself. Make sure to carve out time just for you each week.
  8. Letting Go is Liberating
    One of the hardest lessons was releasing the life I had envisioned. The guilt of my ex and I diverging from our plans was heavy, but I learned that holding onto that guilt drained my energy. Release it for your peace of mind.
  9. Invest in Your Pleasure
    Consider getting a vibrator. You might not think it’s necessary right now, but self-pleasure can be an important part of your new chapter. Whether you’re dating or enjoying your own company, it’s perfectly natural to seek out personal satisfaction.
  10. You Are More Capable Than You Think
    There will be moments of doubt, but remember your journey. Reflect on your progress and acknowledge your strength. You’ve navigated through challenges before, and you will continue to do so. If you ever feel lost, reach out to a friend who can remind you of your resilience.

Divorce can feel like a painful upheaval, but it’s also an opportunity to discover a stronger, braver version of yourself. Embrace the journey and keep moving forward.

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Summary

Reflecting on my year after divorce has led to profound realizations about strength, capability, and the importance of support. Embracing solitude, allowing emotions to flow, and seeking joy in small moments have been key to my healing. It’s a journey of rediscovery and empowerment.

Keyphrase: divorce lessons

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