Absolutely, I’m going to share with my daughter that I am a suicide survivor. Here’s why.
The first time I attempted to end my life, I was just 17. I was in my junior year of high school, excelling academically and seemingly on the path to a bright future. But beneath the surface, my reality was starkly different. I felt isolated, overwhelmed, and utterly hopeless. In a moment of despair, I made the choice to take a handful of pills washed down with soda. However, instead of succumbing to the darkness, I woke up — alive.
Much has changed since that pivotal moment, and though decades have passed without another attempt, I believe it’s crucial to have honest discussions with my daughter about my past struggles with suicidal thoughts. Why? Because, tragically, an average of 123 people take their own lives every single day. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth, and for every suicide, there are at least 25 attempts. Despite these staggering statistics, many people shy away from discussing suicide, fearing that talking about it might somehow encourage it.
This silence, however, fosters shame and stigma. According to the American Association of Suicidology, open conversations about suicide are vital for prevention. Encouraging teens to express their feelings allows them to share their pain, which can provide an opportunity for intervention by parents, teachers, and friends.
How to Initiate the Conversation
So, how do you initiate a conversation about such a delicate topic? Start gradually and thoughtfully, much like discussing drugs or alcohol, in a way that’s appropriate for their age. Timing is essential. Ideally, broach the subject before they encounter it in media or school. Perhaps during a relaxed dinner or a lengthy drive would be best.
Acknowledge that discussing suicide is uncomfortable for both of you. You might say, “I read something that made me think about suicide, and I wanted to know your thoughts.” Be direct and use the word “suicide.” Avoid stigmatizing language that might make your child feel worse if they have similar thoughts. Instead, use compassionate terms that promote understanding.
Ask your child how they feel about the topic and if it’s something their friends discuss. Listen without judgment, even if they express troubling thoughts. Keep the dialogue open because one conversation won’t suffice; this is an ongoing discussion that will evolve as they grow.
When to Start These Talks
When should you start these talks? It’s difficult to say, as every child develops differently. I faced loss early in life, which prompted my suicidal thoughts at a young age. Others may not confront such realities until later. While I wish I had someone to talk to about these feelings when I was 12 or 13, my daughter may not be ready until she’s older. I’ll know when the time is right.
Whenever that moment comes, I will share my journey openly with my daughter. I want her to understand that emotions can be overwhelming, and it’s okay to feel lost or alone at times. Help and hope are always within reach, and I will be a guiding light for her. If it means venturing into uncomfortable territory, so be it; she deserves that support. Every life is precious.
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Conclusion
In summary, discussing suicide with children is essential for their understanding and emotional well-being. I aim to create an environment of openness, ensuring that my daughter knows she can always come to me, no matter how heavy the topic may be.
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