It’s been five years since I completed my cancer treatment, and I’d be dishonest if I claimed that the shadow of my experience isn’t still with me. The concerns I carry are often reserved for a select few who truly understand. My posts on social media tend to highlight the bright side — my joy in remaining in remission, my appreciation for being present for my loved ones, and my determination to embrace life for many more years to come.
However, there’s an underlying presence that intermittently haunts me. This feeling can strike unexpectedly, often ignited by hearing about others undergoing treatment or those who haven’t been as fortunate with their cancer outcomes as I was. It’s an intrusive thought that can transform a mere cold or common back pain into a catastrophic scenario. It’s a mental struggle that can be overwhelming.
During the holiday season, these feelings can intensify. Planning travel, hosting family, juggling children, preparing festive meals, and gift shopping can all create just the right amount of stress to send my mind spiraling. This stress manifests into the biggest challenge for someone post-cancer: anxiety.
When I speak of anxiety, I describe it as a tide that ebbs and flows with my circumstances. Five years ago, it was more constant, the wounds still raw. Now, it feels daunting as I sometimes manage stress without succumbing to anxiety, while at other times, it overwhelms me. I never know when my mind will start to wander down a path filled with fears of recurrence, more treatments, or even the unthinkable.
In my darkest moments, I find myself thinking about my children and the fear of missing their lives, or imagining another woman witnessing their milestones. I think about my loving husband, whose happiness means the world to me, and the pain of potentially leaving him behind. I ponder the thought of outliving my parents and the heartbreak that could cause. I cherish my career and all the effort that has shaped my life, and I value the friendships that bring me joy. Time looms large, and I often feel like I don’t have enough.
I’ve come to appreciate the beauty in the smallest things. Situations that once frustrated me now seem trivial. I yearn to explore the world, to immerse myself in new cultures and experiences, eager to learn and grow. Because, really, isn’t it true that learning never stops?
To cope with post-cancer anxiety, I’ve found that talking about it helps. Finding a trustworthy confidant to share my fears with can be incredibly liberating. It’s important to recognize that feeling scared is a natural response after facing cancer; the anxiety is not unfounded. This ongoing health concern is always present, lurking and waiting for triggers. Self-care is crucial. If I feel an ache that I know is probably nothing, I don’t hesitate to call my doctor for reassurance to ease my mind. Facilitating a women’s cancer support group has been therapeutic for me, as I gain insights from discussions and guest speakers.
Post-cancer anxiety is prevalent among survivors, and if you or someone you know has faced this journey, my advice is to embrace the reality of anxiety. Listening and providing support can be immensely helpful.
The elephant in the room may continue to linger, but I refuse to let it control my life. There are too many experiences waiting for me to explore.
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Summary:
Five years post-cancer, anxiety can still be a powerful presence, often triggered by stress and reminders of illness. While social media portrays a positive facade, the reality is that coping with anxiety is an ongoing journey for many survivors. Engaging in open conversations and seeking support can help manage these feelings and reclaim a sense of normalcy.
Keyphrase: post-cancer anxiety
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