So, you’re gearing up for potty training? Buckle up, because it’s going to be a wild ride.
First things first: grab a poster board and some Sharpies. You’ll want to map out the days of the week—trust me, your little one will notice if the lines are crooked. Next, stock up on stickers. You’re going to need a small mountain of them, preferably themed—think Star Wars, Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol, and Justice League. Yes, you read that right.
Then, it’s time to pick out your toddler’s favorite underwear. Spoiler alert: you’ll likely need to buy far more than you think. Thank you, Target, for having such a vast selection of character underwear.
Now, as you drive home with your haul, prepare yourself for the chaos that’s about to ensue.
When you get home, you might want to consider tossing all those supplies in the trash because this weekend is going to test your sanity. A quick detour to the liquor store might not be a bad idea either.
Unpack all those pairs of underwear because your child will manage to wet a little in each one. You’ll find your patience tested like never before. It’ll feel like trying to quit smoking—repeatedly reminding yourself that “this is worth it.”
Your toddler may start acting like a tiny demon, and yes, there’s a solid chance you’ll end up getting peed on. A lot.
Your partner, who started this journey with the same enthusiasm, might either be your rock or throw in the towel and disappear upstairs for some peace and quiet, leaving you to deal with the fallout.
Your older kids will try to be helpful, but let’s be honest—they’ll just complicate things further. Expect complaints about not getting enough treats or attention.
At some point, your toddler will launch into a nonsensical monologue about how they love diapers and never want to part with them. They’ll plead with you, as if you’re the meanest parent ever for taking their beloved diapers away.
And then, finally, it happens. Your toddler will manage to pee in the potty for a split second, only to cut it short and then promptly wet the floor ten minutes later. Start over again.
But soon enough, they’ll start using the potty consistently. After what feels like an eternity of potty training (which is probably just a few days), you’ll emerge victorious. Yes, they may still wear pull-ups during naps and bedtime, but you can finally say goodbye to diapers—mostly. Until they start wetting the bed after watching a horror movie that the oldest sibling sneakily showed them.
And they all lived happily ever after. The end. You’re welcome.
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Summary
Potty training a toddler is a challenging yet rewarding experience that involves preparation, patience, and a good sense of humor. Stock up on supplies, brace for chaos, and remember that every child is different. With determination, you’ll eventually wave goodbye to diapers.
Keyphrase: Potty training a 3-year-old
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