Updated: Oct. 24, 2018
Originally Published: Sep. 12, 2017
I was far from ready to embrace motherhood when I first became a mom. Sure, my partner and I had planned, prepped, and tried for our little one, but the leap from being child-free to holding a tiny human entirely reliant on me flipped my world upside down in ways I never anticipated. This transition is so monumental that I genuinely believe nothing can fully equip you for it.
You might think you’re prepared, but the reality hits when you actually become a parent. You just have to navigate it as it comes.
Fast forward to my second pregnancy, and I thought I had a grip on things. While two kids are definitely more challenging than one, I had some experience under my belt. I knew I wouldn’t fool myself about the relentless sleep deprivation ahead. I felt ready for whatever chaos my body might unleash.
Then my daughter entered the world. And once again, I found myself unprepared.
This realization didn’t strike me immediately. As a newborn, she amused us with her expressive eyebrows and the hilarious scowls she’d throw our way. The growls and monster-like noises she made were pure entertainment. She was bursting with personality, or so we thought.
Once she started crawling, the truth became glaringly obvious.
My daughter is a true wildling. Feral. The very definition of a little daredevil. If my son were a candy, he’d be a soft, sweet marshmallow. My daughter? She’s like those Pop Rocks that were recalled due to dangerous metal shards.
I had nearly three calm years with my son before he became a big brother. Those years were relatively smooth sailing. He’s a gentle soul, sensitive, and loves to create, but he occasionally stumbles, lost in his imagination.
In stark contrast, my daughter, in her short two years, has already had her crib literally sawed apart, escaped our house unnoticed, and has been found wandering in someone else’s yard—or right in the middle of the street. She’s climbed to dizzying heights on playgrounds, licked a plumber’s Crocs, and managed to grab everything sharp within a 20-foot radius, from nail clippers to power drills.
Every escapade of hers feels like cosmic payback for my easy first parenting experience.
Days with my son were about as chill as they could get with a toddler. If I needed a breather, I could just turn on the TV and let him zone out, giving me a moment to shower or grab a quick bite.
With my daughter, though, if I dare to sneak in a shower, I have to leave the bathroom door wide open, straining to hear any signs of chaos. I often have to call for my son to check on his sister, who could either be watching TV or using a crayon on the screen.
You might have a child who’s just a bit rambunctious, prone to repeating colorful words in public. But the universe might decide to up the ante and bless you with a child who short-circuits the lawn mower starter with wire cutters while you’re busy checking the mail.
This is precisely why the wild ones come second. If they were the first, there would be no room for a second child.
Taming a feral child? That’s a myth. I’ve tried everything—timeouts, taking away toys, endless discussions. But two-year-olds, as I’ve learned, don’t care much for dialogue. My attempts are often met with a piercing stink-eye or maniacal laughter, followed by a quick “Sorry, Mommy!” before she bolts off in search of who knows what—perhaps a box cutter and some batteries.
While I wouldn’t trade my daughter for anything, her fierce independence and fearless spirit fill me with concern for anyone who crosses her path in the future. It would be nice if she could slow down once in a while. Parenting can be draining, but the mental exhaustion of trying to predict the moves of a miniature mastermind is enough to make my naps need naps. But then again, napping would only play into her devious plans. She’d probably find that box cutter before I even closed my eyes.
So, yes. Nothing can truly prepare you for a wild child. You’ll never be completely ready. You’ll love them fiercely, but you might find yourself sleeping with one eye open for quite some time.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this post for helpful resources, or visit March of Dimes for excellent pregnancy information. You can also explore BabyMaker for more on home insemination kits.
Summary
Transitioning to parenthood is a monumental shift that’s impossible to fully prepare for, especially when welcoming a wild child. The experience can be both chaotic and rewarding, requiring parents to adapt as they go along. Ultimately, every child brings their unique challenges and joys, making the parenting journey endlessly unpredictable.
Keyphrase: feral child parenting
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