I want to share my journey with autism to help others grasp that it doesn’t have a singular appearance. Autism manifests uniquely in each individual, influencing how we perceive and interact with the world, as well as how we process sensory information.
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and ADHD at the age of 20. Growing up, I faced significant challenges, from delayed development milestones like walking and talking to struggling in school. Teachers often mistook my difficulties with reading, writing, and social interactions for other issues, like dyslexia. Despite my efforts to explain what Asperger’s entails and how it affects me, many people still dismiss my experiences with remarks like, “You don’t look autistic,” or, “You’re doing better than others, so it’s fine.”
When I probe what distinguishes me from other autistic individuals, the answer often revolves around my appearance. Yes, my choice to wear makeup or dresses occasionally leads some to doubt my diagnosis. I know I’m not alone in this—many others feel their conditions are overlooked based on superficial judgments.
I spent much of my childhood feeling out of place, having few friends and often relying on my sister for companionship. I was bullied for being different—my quirks and hyperactive nature were viewed as “weird” or “annoying.” Social norms were a mystery to me, leading to countless misunderstandings and hurtful experiences.
In the workplace, my struggles continued. No job lasted longer than three months because I was often told I lacked communication skills and exhibited awkward behavior. Even when I excelled at my tasks, my difficulties with eye contact and engaging with customers led to my dismissal. It felt like I was constantly being pushed out, no matter how hard I tried.
Academically, I barely scraped by. I was placed into a program meant for students heading straight into the workforce, not university. Despite my dedication and earning several awards for effort, I often found myself on the brink of failure. I used to think I was destined to struggle forever, but understanding my autism has helped me seek the right support. Now, I’m in my second year of pursuing a degree, although I still face challenges with exams and social interactions.
Sensory processing is another area affected by my autism. Everyday noises can be overwhelming, and I often need earplugs to sleep. Bright lights or stuffy rooms can lead to discomfort, and unpleasant odors can be hard to endure. Social outings can be exhausting, and I might leave early due to sensory overload.
I also engage in stimming behaviors, like rocking back and forth, which I primarily do at home. It helps me cope and find calmness. Additionally, having special interests is common among those on the spectrum. Currently, I’m fascinated by Steve Jobs and Apple, and while I might bore others with my enthusiasm, it’s a safer topic for me than initiating small talk.
To everyone who assumes I don’t “look” autistic, please remember that autism is complex and looks different for each person. There are countless other aspects of my experience that shape who I am, and understanding this diversity is crucial.
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In summary, autism is not defined by appearance, and it affects individuals in myriad ways. Understanding and acceptance are crucial, as each person’s experience is valid and unique.
Keyphrase: autism awareness
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