I feel compelled to express a significant concern regarding societal attitudes toward parenting roles. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to exist in a society where fathers are recognized for actively participating in their children’s lives without being lauded for merely “helping”? It would be wonderful if the act of caring for one’s own children were seen as standard practice rather than an extraordinary feat.
I understand that we are still navigating the complexities of gender equality and the fight for women’s rights, particularly in the workplace. Many women choose to pursue careers beyond motherhood, and we are still evolving in our perceptions of family roles. Traditionally, men were viewed as the primary earners while women took on caregiving responsibilities, leading to the notion that fathers didn’t typically engage in child-rearing. However, I believe we should be further along in our understanding of shared parental responsibilities.
My partner and I enjoy a fulfilling relationship, yet during the crucial hours of the day—6 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.—we divide our parenting responsibilities as if we were single parents. While we spend quality time together as a family on weekends and evenings, the weekdays are often a whirlwind of solo parenting. I manage the morning routine, preparing breakfast, packing lunches, ensuring the kids are dressed appropriately, and guiding them to school. Once back home, I juggle the twins and entertain the baby, read stories, and put everyone down for naps.
At 12:30, my partner takes over. He engages the children in play, organizes their homework, and even invites their friends over, which can be a bit overwhelming for me. He knows where all the kids’ school papers belong, signs their reading logs, and ensures their lunch containers are cleaned and ready for the next day. He also feeds the baby, changes diapers, and maintains a tidy environment by having the kids clean up before dinner, followed by cooking the meal.
While I appreciate his contributions, it’s important to clarify that this is not something extraordinary; it is simply what being a parent entails.
People often express surprise at our arrangement, commenting, “How nice that your partner helps out like that.” However, it’s crucial to recognize that it was not solely my decision to raise six children. He is equally responsible and absolutely should engage in parenting activities so that I am able to pursue my career.
What my partner comprehends—and this is where he stands out, as not all fathers grasp this concept—is that my work enhances my ability to be a better mother. This may not be true for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine, but it is for me. He embraces this reality and supports my professional aspirations.
When he is watching the kids while I work on essays that may or may not have a meaningful impact, he is not “babysitting.” When I attend my monthly book club to discuss literature and share life experiences, that’s also not babysitting. Whether he’s preparing dinner, organizing paperwork, or caring for the baby to allow me a bit of rest, he is not merely “helping.” He is parenting.
Friends, babysitters, and nannies may assist, but fathers are actively engaged in parenting. I’m glad we could clarify this distinction.
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In summary, parenting should not be perceived as a favor or assistance; it is a shared responsibility. Recognition of this fact is essential for achieving true equality in family dynamics.
Keyphrase: parenting equality
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