Why You Shouldn’t Tell Your Kids They Need to Lose Weight

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My little ones were the roly-poly babies that would melt anyone’s heart. I have adorable pictures of them at six months old, with chubby rolls adorning their thighs. Friends and family would always remark on how hefty they were (and be surprised when I explained it was all breast milk!), but because they were babies, it was all taken in good fun.

As my children grew into toddlers, they slimmed down, and I observed how they would gain weight during growth spurts, only to shed it as they shot up in height. Throughout this journey, I made a conscious decision to avoid discussing their weight, especially in a negative light. This was influenced by witnessing friends struggle with body image issues.

Take my friend Lisa, for instance. She has battled with obesity for years and has shared how her parents’ comments about her weight affected her deeply. They put her on a diet at a young age, which led to a complicated relationship with food and self-esteem that has lasted into adulthood.

It’s a familiar story, but many parents mistakenly believe that addressing their children’s weight is a form of caring. We often hear about the dangers of childhood obesity, and naturally, we want our kids to be healthy. However, criticizing a child’s weight can lead to both emotional and physical harm. A study in the journal Eating and Weight Disorders revealed that women who recalled negative comments about their weight from childhood were more likely to be dissatisfied with their bodies as adults—even those who were perfectly healthy.

Children are exceptionally sensitive to the messages we send them. When they hear that they are “getting fat” or need to “lose weight,” they internalize that something is wrong with them. Their bodies go through rapid changes, and being told they need to alter those changes can be disheartening and confusing.

Moreover, it’s important to remember that everyone’s body is unique. Some seemingly extra weight doesn’t necessarily mean poor health. There are plenty of thin individuals who face health issues, just as there are curvier folks who are perfectly healthy. My kids often gain a bit of weight before a growth spurt, and that’s just part of their development. What truly matters is that we promote healthy habits without getting caught up in society’s fixation on body size.

Instead of fixating on weight, let’s emphasize health. We can teach our kids about nourishing their bodies with wholesome foods and enjoying treats in moderation. Discussing the importance of listening to their hunger cues and stopping when full can foster a healthy relationship with food.

Rather than suggesting a child needs to exercise to shed pounds, we can focus on the joy of movement. Discuss how our bodies thrive on activity and how exercise strengthens our muscles and bones. Family outings that involve physical activities can make exercise a fun priority in our lives.

It’s possible to do all of this without ever labeling a child as “fat” or implying they need to lose weight. Such comments can be harmful and leave lasting scars. Kids experience constant changes in their bodies; some days they may feel heavier, while on others they feel leaner. They should hear affirmations about their amazing, capable bodies—how they allow them to run, jump, swim, and play.

When children recognize their bodies as incredible machines, they’re more likely to make healthy choices. They do not need to feel as if they are falling short; it’s not a personal failing. By serving as positive role models and promoting a healthy lifestyle, we can give our kids the guidance they need while preserving their self-esteem.

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In summary, it’s essential to nurture a positive body image in our children. Instead of discussing weight, we should focus on health and well-being to ensure they grow up with confidence and a love for their bodies.

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