Anyone who has ever dealt with a toddler knows that instilling self-control in them can feel like an impossible feat. Little ones tend to want everything immediately, and convincing them to wait for even a short time can be a monumental challenge. Whether it’s coaxing them to hold off on that coveted toy until their next birthday or persuading them to save dessert until after dinner, the struggle is real.
Children aren’t naturally wired to delay gratification, so it falls on us as parents to help them learn this essential skill. Beyond the obvious consequences—like the unpleasant aftermath of consuming an entire bag of candy during a camping trip—teaching kids self-control is vital for their future.
In her article “How to Enhance Self-Control in Children — And Why It’s Crucial for Their Success,” Lisa Thompson discusses groundbreaking research from New Zealand that tracked children from birth into their thirties. The study revealed that those who exhibited higher self-control by age five tended to lead healthier, more successful lives.
Thompson notes:
“By the time they reached adulthood, children with the lowest self-control (compared to their more self-disciplined peers) were more likely to:
- Experience various health issues (27% versus 11%)
- Earn less than $20,000 annually (32% compared to 10%)
- Have a criminal history (43% versus 13%)
- Struggle with addiction to multiple substances (10% versus 3%).”
Before you despair over your 4-year-old’s latest meltdown about waiting for a cupcake, take heart. There are effective methods to foster self-control in children, starting right now.
According to Thompson, “The brain adapts based on the experiences it encounters. Positive experiences help it flourish, while negative ones can hinder development.” As parents, we have the power to shape these experiences. Through reading, playing, and guiding our children towards safe explorations, we can lay a solid foundation.
Strategies for Parents
Here are some strategies parents can implement early on:
- Create opportunities for children to practice delaying gratification. For instance, offer them a chance to earn a double reward if they can wait patiently for something.
- Discuss potential impulsive situations with your child beforehand to prepare them for better decision-making.
- Encourage them to consider the question, “What would your future self think?” This can apply to various scenarios, from academic performance to social choices.
Games that center around delaying gratification, like “red light/green light,” can also be beneficial. Assigning chores that lead to future rewards and setting clear boundaries can help instill the importance of rules and patience.
You’re likely already doing many things to nurture your child’s self-control, so give yourself some credit. My 5-year-old is just beginning to grasp the concept of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, so it’s perfectly normal if your child struggles with waiting for something they desperately want. Kids often prefer instant gratification over believing in future rewards, like the promise of an even better toy at the next stop.
If your child hasn’t mastered the art of waiting yet, don’t fret—it’s a normal part of development. Their impulse control will naturally improve as they grow. For now, we can teach them that good things often come to those who wait, even during those frustrating moments when they’re throwing a fit over not getting another toy train. And hey, sometimes it’s perfectly fine to indulge in dessert first!
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Summary
Teaching children self-control is crucial for their future success and well-being. While it may seem challenging, parents can implement strategies to help their children practice waiting and making thoughtful choices. Through guidance and supportive experiences, we can prepare them for a healthier, more successful adulthood.
Keyphrase: Teaching Kids Self-Control
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