Updated: April 15, 2021
Originally Published: Aug. 28, 2015
Recently, my husband and I enjoyed a week-long vacation on the North Shore of Oahu with our 14-year-old daughter, Mia. While some parents might find the idea of spending time with a teenager daunting, we genuinely appreciate her company. Mia is generally well-behaved; she doesn’t engage in tantrums or exhibit rudeness towards us or others. Her occasional eye rolls are kept to a minimum.
Having previously spent a week alone on the Big Island, we felt relaxed and ready to share the beauty of the North Shore. We’ve visited this area multiple times and are well-acquainted with its relaxed atmosphere. However, it became apparent that our enthusiasm might have been overwhelming for Mia. She expressed feeling “out of place” and was preoccupied with concerns about sun exposure, school starting, applying to high schools, and taking standardized tests like the ISEE. Despite my reassurances that those worries would still be there upon our return, she remained anxious and unable to fully engage in her surroundings.
During our beach walks in Haleiwa, where Hawaiian sea turtles bask on the sand, Mia merely glanced at the turtles before retreating back to our condo. The following day at Sunset Beach was no different; she fretted about the waves, which were perfectly manageable, and complained about the heat of the sand. Despite our attempts to enjoy the beach, her fixation on her worries persisted.
The pivotal moment arrived at Waimea Bay, a location renowned for its stunning summer conditions and the iconic rock that attracts thrill-seekers. While Mia initially dismissed the idea of jumping off the rock, she eventually found herself drawn to it. Watching others take the leap seemed to ignite a spark of courage within her. After a moment of hesitation, she bravely climbed to the top and jumped, describing the experience as akin to “landing on a bidet on the highest setting.” The exhilaration of that moment visibly lifted her spirits.
Throughout our vacation, I hoped that by observing her parents embracing relaxation and joy, Mia would rediscover the art of play. However, for much of the trip, she resembled a stressed executive rather than an adolescent, which was concerning. Ultimately, it became clear that the most valuable lesson I could impart to her is the importance of allowing oneself to play and enjoy the present moment. This realization may prove particularly significant as life progresses, and not every situation will offer a metaphorical rock to leap from.
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Summary:
Encouraging a 14-year-old girl to embrace play can be challenging, especially when worries overshadow the present moment. Through experiences like jumping off Waimea Bay rock, a stressed teenager may find ways to reconnect with joy and spontaneity. Parents can play a crucial role in modeling relaxation and fun, helping their children learn to navigate life’s pressures while remembering the importance of playfulness.
Keyphrase: Encouraging playfulness in teenagers
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