What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a question that most of us faced as children, seemingly innocent but now fraught with pressure for today’s youth. This question often fuels anxiety and undermines self-esteem, suggesting that success hinges on becoming something other than who they are. It perpetuates a culture that equates self-worth with accomplishments, degrees, and accolades.
This concern was amplified for me when I learned about Alex Rivera, a 25-year-old medical student who tragically took his own life after being rejected for residency twice. I don’t aim to simplify the complex issue of rising suicide rates among medical students—many factors contribute to this crisis. Instead, I want to reflect on what messages we are conveying to our youth about their worth and how we are preparing them to handle failure and adversity.
We need to introspect about why we feel inadequate and why our children feel they are not enough. Why do we equate identity with achievements? Roles such as friend, sibling, or colleague should hold intrinsic value, yet our society often pushes the narrative that these roles fall short without accompanying accolades.
The “work hard, play hard” mentality often sacrifices the precious work-life balance that many strive for. This doesn’t merely begin in medical school or college; it starts far earlier, in how we frame discussions about our children’s futures. We inadvertently suggest they must transform into something extraordinary, much like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, instead of celebrating their authentic selves. This mindset is a disservice we must correct.
Currently, high schools are filled with students grappling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. Research published in the journal Pediatrics indicates a 37% increase in reported major depression episodes among children aged 12 to 20 between 2005 and 2014. While some experts attribute this rise to improved awareness of mental health issues, others cite the detrimental effects of excessive screen time and social media, coupled with an increasingly competitive job market.
Moreover, a prevalent parenting style—often described as helicopter parenting—seeks to protect children from disappointment and pain. One can easily observe the fallout from this approach. A visit to any school office reveals students who have never learned the value of consequences because their parents swoop in to save the day. For instance, parents might not only deliver a forgotten lunch but ensure it’s fresh and warm. Such interventions can stifle the development of essential problem-solving skills, whether in academics or sports. When everyone is deemed a winner, children miss the critical lessons that come from both victory and defeat.
It’s time for society to re-embrace disappointment as a natural emotion that needs to be experienced rather than avoided. We can only shield our children for so long before they encounter real-life challenges. What will happen when they face their first setback at 18, unprepared for disappointment?
Resilience, hard work, perseverance, and the ability to fail are not just qualities; they are essential life skills. How can we teach our children about success without first instilling these values? It’s essential to prioritize character development over achievement. Instead of asking our kids what they want to become based on degrees or accolades, we should inquire about who they are and how they aspire to grow. Sometimes, simply being themselves is more than enough.
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Summary
We must stop rushing to protect our children from every failure. Instead, we should focus on teaching them resilience and self-worth independent of societal pressures. Learning to cope with disappointment is essential for their emotional development and future success.
Keyphrase: Stop Rushing to Shield Children from Failure
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