Even as an adult, the feeling of being that kid in the schoolyard lingers, standing there awkwardly with your arms open wide, asking, “Hey, do you want to be friends?” These days, the setting has changed. You might find yourself trying to connect in a fitness class, at work, or while watching your children play sports or attend school events. Yet, those awkward feelings remain unchanged.
When you’re part of a couple, meeting other couples can happen naturally. Shared interests, like camping, sports, or even similar parenting styles, often bring people together. Sometimes it’s just because you live on the same street. But making friends can feel a lot like dating: “Oh, you’re into yoga and not a sports fan? Not a match.”
There’s another layer to forming friendships at this age—material possessions play a surprising role. It’s not just about having fun together anymore; it’s about what you can bring to the table. Maybe it’s a cottage, a boat, or a golf club membership that seems to seal the deal. Perhaps it’s connections to those with a bit of fame, like a friend who plays in the major leagues or a local news anchor. It can often feel like a race to see who has the best “toys” to offer.
“Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? We could hang out at the lake—don’t forget to bring your skis!” Oops. We don’t own any of that gear. We can, however, bring snacks and drinks. Perhaps a loaf of bread and some peanut butter?
We’re in our 40s and doing alright. Our kids are well taken care of, with shoes on their feet and clothes on their backs. They even have extracurricular activities and vacations each year. But the expensive toys and thrilling adventures? Not in the cards right now. Our priorities are focused on kids and essential expenses.
We’ve enjoyed plenty of laid-back gatherings with friends, grilling burgers in the backyard while the kids play. We’ve vacationed together, renting places and relaxing in hot tubs. But as our friends have leveled up in life, they’ve also gravitated toward new circles—friends with the latest toys and more disposable income.
While we’ve made strides in our careers, opting for jobs that grant us flexibility and more family time, it comes at a cost. Those luxury items will have to wait. If we’re lucky, we can bring laughter and good company to the table.
If the invitation still stands, we’d love to join you at your cabin or club. We’ll even pack the sandwiches!
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In summary, making friends in your 40s can be challenging, especially when material possessions enter the equation. It’s not just about shared interests anymore; sometimes, it’s about who can offer the most. But at the end of the day, genuine connections and shared laughter might just be the best things we can bring to the table.
Keyphrase: Making friends in your 40s
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