I discovered my 13-year-old son, Max, smoking marijuana one Easter evening beneath our backyard deck. I had gone to bed after telling him to come up and kiss me goodnight, assuming he was in the kitchen grabbing a snack. But when I heard coughing outside my bedroom window, I peeked out while brushing my teeth and saw his bare legs and a lighter. In that moment, I knew.
Max has always been a cautious kid, preferring to stay in control. A few years back, while attempting a jump on a ski slope, he took a nasty spill but got back up and resumed skiing. Since then, he’s avoided jumps altogether, expressing his fear of broken bones and injuries. “I don’t need to do all that fancy stuff. It’s not worth it to me,” he’d say. So, given his responsible nature, academic success, and tendency to rarely carry cash, I never expected to confront this issue at such a young age.
I thought I was doing everything right as a parent. I’ve had conversations about the risks of drugs, alcohol, and smoking since he was little. I tell him I love him daily, and we communicate openly about everything from his friends to school. I strive to create a safe space for him.
While I personally don’t smoke, I’ve always maintained a liberal view towards marijuana. If someone chooses to use it, I believe that’s their right. I support its legalization for recreational use in our state. However, my perspective shifts dramatically when it comes to my 13-year-old son.
Seeing Max high was a jarring experience that challenged my beliefs. Watching him lecture me with bloodshot eyes about how “It’s just a plant, Mom,” and how “It’s not a big deal,” made me realize that this newfound legality comes with tremendous responsibility. We need to be vigilant with our discussions about marijuana and remind teens that experimenting at such a young age is not wise, regardless of its legal status.
I understand that kids have always experimented, and I know my son isn’t a delinquent. However, that doesn’t justify his assumption that using marijuana is acceptable or healthy. It’s my duty to guide him and shape our family’s narrative around these issues. Yet, I recognize that kids often latch onto the messages that suit them, such as how natural marijuana is and how it’s less harmful than other drugs. They might think they can’t overdose and won’t lose control. While I don’t necessarily disagree, I believe we need to tread carefully in discussing marijuana’s legalization and its potential influence on younger users.
Max confessed this was not his first time. While he looked at me with glazed eyes, struggling to articulate his feelings, he admitted, “I feel like this helps me. I like the way it makes me feel, but I also feel like maybe I am ruining my life.” He even showed me where he kept his stash: a pipe, a lighter, and a prescription bottle filled with marijuana that he’d gotten from a classmate. It seemed he was both curious about this new path yet unsure of the consequences. Teenagers often lack the emotional maturity to navigate such decisions, and in that moment, I could see my son’s uncertainty.
I hugged him tightly, grateful for his honesty. I assured him we’d face this together. After he showered, I gathered his smelly clothes for laundry and awaited his return. When he entered his room, I expressed my appreciation for his openness but firmly stated that his actions were completely inappropriate for a 13-year-old. I laid out a monthlong punishment: no friends, phone, or social media, and he would spend the rest of spring break working alongside his father.
I know he feels anger towards me, but deep down, I believe he understands my intentions. From my perspective, I see a young teen dabbling with a substance he doesn’t fully understand. Perhaps he would have tried it regardless of society’s casual attitude toward marijuana, but the reality is that it is still a drug with potential risks for developing minds. The narratives he’s heard about marijuana being natural and medicinal may have fueled his choices. I’m not pointing fingers, except at myself, but I do think we need to approach the conversation about marijuana with more caution. The “good news” about cannabis is aimed at adults, not impressionable teens.
I’m uncertain if I’m handling this situation correctly. I know some may think I’m overreacting, while others may feel I haven’t done enough. That’s okay. I want to reach out to fellow parents: our children are absorbing the casual attitudes many of us have about marijuana, and it’s crucial we engage in these conversations, now more than ever. For those interested in family planning and related topics, you can check out resources on pregnancy and artificial insemination at Make A Mom, and for more information about infertility, Women’s Health offers excellent guidance.
In summary, navigating the topic of marijuana use with teens requires open communication and understanding. As parents, we must balance our views on legalization with the realities of adolescent decision-making and the potential effects of drug use on their development.
Keyphrase: Parenting and Marijuana Use
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