Hey there, new mom friend!
It’s me, Lisa—mother to little Ethan. Yep, that Ethan—the one who navigates life with a trach and has congenital heart disease. I’m thrilled that your little one invited him over to play, or maybe we arranged the playdate ourselves? Either way, I can’t wait! Playdates are such a joy, right? Or maybe it’s the adult beverages? Either way, I’m genuinely excited.
You see, Ethan spent a significant amount of time in the hospital. He endured countless pokes and prods, living more like a patient than a baby. So, engaging in these normal childhood activities means the world to us. My husband and I longed for the day we could bring him home and let him experience the outside world.
But I do have a personal question for you: Is your child vaccinated?
Ah, the “vaccine” topic—a subject that can spark intense emotions, much like the last big election. Many parents hesitate to discuss it, believing it’s a deeply personal choice that should remain private. But for families like ours, it’s not so simple.
Ethan was born at 38 weeks, weighing just about 5 pounds—not even on the growth charts. But that wasn’t his only hurdle. He faced a myriad of challenges, including a small jaw, an incomplete heart, and other developmental issues. We tackled these obstacles with as much resilience as we could muster.
Alongside these struggles came tough decisions. Ethan underwent a tracheostomy, bowel surgery, and open-heart surgery—all before he turned four months old. During that time, we fought off infections, giving him high doses of powerful antibiotics that stressed his system in ways no baby should have to endure.
We had initially planned for Ethan to get vaccinated, and we’ve done our research. We understand the risks and benefits. We believe in preventing diseases that can be avoided, especially after witnessing the consequences of those we cannot control. However, vaccines often take a backseat in a hospital environment. When faced with a choice like “life-saving surgery” versus “hepatitis B shot,” it’s easy to see why one might be prioritized. Ethan’s compromised immune system, after so many procedures, just isn’t ready for vaccinations yet.
We do have a recovery plan in place with his doctors to catch up on his vaccinations, but it won’t happen overnight. Until then, he remains vulnerable to preventable diseases.
I often hear arguments against vaccinating children—that parents know their kids best and can assess their health needs. But then there’s Ethan, along with countless other children with congenital heart disease or those undergoing cancer treatment, whose immune systems are compromised. They can’t receive vaccinations for various reasons, and they need your protection.
When these kids fall ill, it’s not just a couple of days in bed with some chicken soup. It could mean hospital visits, oxygen machines, and antibiotics that may not work due to overexposure. It’s constant monitoring and potential setbacks in development. For some, it could even mean a hospital visit from which they don’t return.
I hope it’s not too much to ask that you consider vaccinating your child while we navigate this challenging terrain with Ethan. Perhaps it feels intrusive to question your choices—or maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe it’s simply a fellow mom asking another for a little help in ensuring our kids can enjoy daycare, school, or the playground without worry. I want Ethan to have a chance at a normal childhood, free from the confines of hospital walls.
So please don’t take offense when I ask. I hope it gives you pause to think about your own decision. And hey, if you enjoy a glass of white wine, I brought a couple of bottles to share!
Warmly,
Lisa