Hey there, my little star! How are you doing over there? Oh wait, I don’t need to ask. You’re probably busy munching on some snacks and lost in the adventures of LEGO Star Wars. Life must be pretty fantastic for you right now!
But I want to take a moment to chat about something that isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. My life isn’t always filled with joy, and I think it’s important for you to understand that. You deserve to know what’s happening, even if it’s a bit complicated.
Understanding My Struggles
You see, I struggle with something called a mental illness, specifically depression. Now, I know this can be a confusing concept, especially since I look and sound fine most of the time. I’m not physically unwell with symptoms you can see, like a cough or a fever. But just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not real. Some illnesses, like mine, are invisible, and they can’t be cured with warm soup or hugs.
When I say I struggle with depression, I mean it affects how I feel and how I function every single day. Some days, I wake up feeling achy, tired, and overwhelmed. I might be irritable, sad, or just not in a mood to do anything—even the things I love like playing with you or going to the park. On those days, I know it’s hard for you because you need my attention, and I can’t always give it to you fully. I’m present, but my mind isn’t always there.
Apologies and Understanding
And for that, I want to say I’m truly sorry. I’m not apologizing for having depression; it’s an illness just like any other, and I have to manage it. But I do feel sorry if my struggles with it make you feel neglected or unloved. I regret the missed playdates and the times I haven’t been able to join you for fun activities, like coloring or having tea parties. It hurts me to think that my feelings might make you feel sad or rejected, and I worry you might think it’s your fault—but it absolutely isn’t.
Please remember, my dear, that my moods and struggles are not a reflection of my love for you. My depression is beyond your control, just like it’s beyond mine. Even on my toughest days, my love for you remains constant. I will keep striving to be a healthier, more present mom, and I promise to keep trying to explain this to you as best as I can.
Resources for Understanding
And just so you know, if you’re ever curious about how to navigate these feelings or learn more about what it means to be a parent with a mental illness, there are great resources available, like this one on in vitro fertilisation that can provide valuable insights.
So, while there will be tough days ahead, please hold onto this: I love you unconditionally, and my struggles are not your fault. I’ll keep fighting, and together we’ll find brighter days.
Love,
Mom