As I sit here typing, I find myself in a pair of ancient pajama pants featuring cartoon cats and a shirt that has seen better days. My hair is hastily gathered into a ponytail—not the sleek, polished kind, but the messy, rushed version that results from realizing you overslept and need to get the kids ready for school. Glasses sit on my face because, frankly, I didn’t have time to put in my contacts.
Yes, I made the questionable choice of wearing those pajama pants for school drop-off, but at least I threw on a coat. So, maybe nobody noticed?
For now, it’s still morning, and I’m in the “safe zone,” where most moms look like me—busy, flustered, too focused on everyone else’s needs to take a moment for themselves. But as the sun rises higher, coffee will be consumed, showers will happen, and perhaps some jeans and real shoes will make an appearance. Hair and teeth will be brushed, and tasks will be tackled.
Unless they don’t.
We’ve all experienced those days when the motivation to do anything evaporates. Staying in yoga pants (a term that amusingly suggests actual yoga was done) becomes the norm, and the dishes pile up. Sure, you may have caught up on your favorite shows, but those days shouldn’t define your routine.
If they do, you might be crossing into the risky territory of being “frumpy.” While the word might sound amusing, the reality is far from funny. As someone who has swung between extremes of being overly maintained and entirely neglectful, I can tell you that frumpiness is a slippery slope. It’s easy to slip into a rut where you barely meet your own needs, let alone those of others.
Frumpiness manifests as neglecting personal hygiene and becoming indifferent to putting in the effort to look presentable. It’s a cycle that leads to feelings of inadequacy and isolation. Initially, it feels liberating to simplify your routine, but over time, it dulls your confidence and spark. You begin to feel like a mere shell of your former self.
I know this struggle firsthand. It’s easy to let yourself go, believing that prioritizing your family’s needs means sacrificing your own well-being. However, the truth is that neglecting yourself doesn’t serve anyone.
The antidote to frumpiness is self-care. It might start with the basics—like showering more frequently. From there, you can gradually build up to more personal care: deep-conditioning your hair, moisturizing your skin, or even putting on some mascara if that’s your thing.
The key is to do this for yourself, not for anyone else. You deserve to feel good in your own skin. Even if it seems like a small effort, it can lead to significant changes in how you perceive yourself. Remember, it’s okay to leave the dishes in the sink for a bit longer or skip the kids’ bath so you can indulge in a relaxing soak.
Reclaiming your sense of self was one of the best choices I made—not just for me, but for my family. They didn’t benefit from a joyless version of me. Change won’t happen overnight, but even the smallest acts of self-care can lead you back to the vibrant person you used to be. Embrace the power of self-love and rediscover how good it feels to prioritize yourself.
Because, mama, you are invaluable, and it’s high time you start treating yourself that way.
For those exploring the journey of starting a family, you can find valuable insights in this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination or check out our post on intracervical insemination kits for more information. If you’re on a couples’ fertility journey, consider visiting this authority on the topic.
In summary, don’t let frumpiness take over your life. Prioritize self-care, and you’ll find that not only do you feel better, but your family will benefit, too.
Keyphrase: overcoming frumpiness
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