When my children’s report cards arrive, I find myself quickly glancing at the grades before moving on to the more meaningful part: the teacher’s comments about my kids. That’s where the real insights lie—like whether they’ve been passing notes during class or facing challenges with classmates.
It’s not that I’m indifferent to their grades; I care. However, I believe that placing too much emphasis on achieving straight A’s sets unrealistic expectations for some children. Each child has unique strengths and weaknesses, and not every student is destined to be an honor roll star. I wholeheartedly believe this.
I was once an honor roll student myself, proudly boasting straight A’s and even joining the National Honor Society in high school. However, everything changed during my chemistry class, a subject I absolutely dreaded. The periodic table was a foreign language to me, and despite my efforts, I ended up with my first C. Not because I didn’t try, but because I simply couldn’t engage with the material.
I’m not advocating for my kids to settle for C’s; rather, I don’t want them to focus solely on the letter itself. Grades don’t always accurately reflect what a child is truly learning. What matters to me is the effort they put in—and their attitude towards the subject. If my child despises chemistry or struggles with a particular topic, a C might just be acceptable.
Take writing, for instance—I thrived in English class. However, I know at least one of my kids might feel the opposite. Each of my children has distinct interests, and while I hope my oldest, who excels at math and science, will achieve high grades, I won’t pressure her to do so.
A few months back, she received a disappointing grade in math, which was surprising given her usual enthusiasm for the subject. She admitted to not trying her best, often getting distracted during lessons. For me, that was the issue—not the grade itself. I explained that it’s not about the C; it’s about her effort. She recognized this and improved her grade to a B on the next report card. We celebrated her dedication rather than the letter.
Yet, I know not every child will share the same love for school. My middle child does well academically but often resists going to school. It’s perplexing since he clearly has the capability.
We need to shift the focus from achieving A’s and B’s to understanding the importance of doing their best and genuinely learning. I’m not concerned if my daughter gets an A in history but can’t recall who signed the Declaration of Independence a year later. Similarly, if my son isn’t fond of reading—like his dad—I’ll help him understand that sometimes we have to read as part of our responsibilities. It’s a life skill, and as long as he tries, I’m satisfied.
We must remember that our children are individuals with their own preferences and aversions. Expecting them to excel in every area is unrealistic. Just like I struggle with numbers, they too will have subjects that don’t resonate with them.
Moreover, many successful individuals don’t graduate from top universities; some may even attend community college. That’s perfectly fine! Education is essential, but it’s equally about helping my children discover their paths, learn about the world, and ultimately find what brings them joy.
So why place such pressure on our children to achieve straight A’s? While some may naturally attain that, it’s not a universal standard—and that’s okay. I want my kids to understand that putting forth a solid effort is what truly counts, and it’s perfectly fine if they don’t enjoy chemistry.
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In summary, I prioritize effort and engagement over grades. Each child is unique, and it’s crucial to teach them the value of trying their best without the burden of unrealistic expectations.
Keyphrase: parenting approach to kids’ grades
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