Many of us are familiar with the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” Growing up, I was often surrounded by my mother and her friends, where this phrase resonated deeply. My mom had her own tribe. While she and my dad were our main caregivers, they relied on neighbors and friends when they needed an extra hand.
On school forms, after my parents, our emergency contacts were always our neighbors. During community events, other parents would step in to comment on our behavior if we were acting up. There was a collective effort to ensure the safety of all children; adults would remind kids not to run on slippery surfaces or to sit down instead of standing on picnic tables. Even as a child, I learned the importance of helping out, whether it was entertaining a crying baby in a store or lending a hand to a mom struggling with her little ones. Parents supported one another in this shared community.
Fast forward 30 years, and as a mom myself, I’ve come to realize that the village I once knew has all but vanished. Where have all the villagers gone? Occasionally, an older individual—usually a woman—might help me when my child is throwing a tantrum, but more often than not, I receive disapproving glances and whispers as people walk away. It seems that many have forgotten the challenges of shopping with little ones or are simply unwilling to help, perhaps fearing they might offend the parent.
When my child starts crying in a store, I would genuinely appreciate if a stranger would attempt to distract them or intervene if they are doing something unsafe. Despite my best efforts to keep an eye on my children, things can happen unexpectedly, like my other child falling or reaching for something out of their grasp.
This topic has come up frequently in discussions with my husband, who has a markedly different experience than I do. While I am met with scornful looks when my children misbehave, he often receives smiles from others, perhaps out of admiration for a father managing his kids solo. I wished to believe that my experiences were just unfortunate, that someone would lend a hand if I truly needed it. But recently, when I found myself in a moment of panic, no one stepped up. The villagers were absent.
My youngest child is full of energy and has a knack for climbing. Our local grocery store has these mini-carts for kids, which are a fun idea but can be troublesome. My eldest manages just fine, but the youngest has learned to unbuckle himself, which can lead to dangerous situations—especially when I’m preoccupied with something else.
On one occasion, we had to make a quick trip to the “mini-cart” store. As I was checking out, my youngest took off with his cart, zipping past checkout lines and out the double doors into the parking lot. Not a single person attempted to stop him. He zoomed past cashiers, a customer service desk, and several shoppers, all of whom just stood by. Thankfully, my eldest sprang into action and chased after him. By the time I finally made my way to the door, he was dragging his brother back inside.
I looked around, disheartened. Where were the villagers? Why didn’t anyone intervene? My child could have been hurt. If I saw a child running toward danger, I would at least try to intervene. Yet in this instance, despite being so close, nobody moved to help.
Many of you may be judging my choices. Why didn’t I leave my children with a sitter? Why can’t I control my kids? Let me assure you that I do my utmost to keep my children safe and well-behaved—most of the time. However, there are moments when their independence and impulsiveness take me by surprise.
Since that day, I’ve pondered the disappearance of community support. We live in a society where people often fear offending one another and are glued to their phones, oblivious to the world around them. Everyone seems focused on their own lives, apprehensive about stepping in for fear of potential backlash. The world is undeniably more hazardous, and while it may have always been so, today we are bombarded with constant news that heightens our anxiety.
Yet, I implore you: if you see a child in danger, please don’t just stand there. Step in, even if the parent doesn’t appreciate it. A child’s safety should always come first. Let’s work together to revive the spirit of community; a village is a lonely place without its villagers.
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In summary, the essence of community support in parenting seems to be fading away in today’s world. While it’s important to respect personal boundaries, stepping in when a child is in danger can make a monumental difference. A village is not just a saying; it’s a vital part of raising children together.
Keyphrase: The Importance of Community in Parenting
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