You just came back from another lively day of sixth grade, bursting through the door with plans to slip into your pajamas, devour pizza (a delightful thought I often have around 3 p.m.), and FaceTime with your friends. Watching you immerse yourself in the joy of sleepovers, sports events, and endless chats makes me wish for you to hold onto this carefree spirit for as long as possible.
As you transition through high school and into college, cherish your old friendships while also making space for new ones. Go on exciting adventures, travel, and spend late nights dreaming together. Be there for each other during heartbreaks and support one another when the weight of work and school feels immense.
Most importantly, please don’t rush into settling down, searching for “the one,” or thinking about marriage and family. There’s no deadline for these milestones, and I want you to feel no pressure to meet societal expectations before you are truly ready.
Before diving into that life, I encourage you to experience living on your own. Make this a gift to yourself, even if love finds you early.
I share this not because I rushed into marriage, mortgages, and parenting, but because I had the chance to live solo for three years before your dad moved in with me. It was, without a doubt, one of the best decisions I made. I have no regrets, only fond memories of that time.
Living alone allows you to discover yourself deeply, to understand what you want and need in life. It brings a sense of peace, making it easier to discern what truly belongs in your life and what doesn’t. You learn to stand firm against drama and toxic relationships.
Taking care of my finances and responsibilities while living alone was eye-opening. I learned to appreciate my hard work when it came to paying bills and managing my car. I opened a bank account in my name, realizing I was solely responsible for my deposits. You quickly figure out what you can afford—whether it’s cable or those trendy shoes. When you’re solely responsible for your expenses, gratitude for your job grows, and your determination to achieve your goals solidifies.
You also learn to enjoy your own company and become comfortable with your thoughts. Yes, there can be lonely moments, but they teach you to find happiness and fulfillment within yourself. You’ll discover how to “do you”—even if that includes dancing in your underwear while munching on Cheetos.
After sharing a bathroom with siblings and dorm mates, having your own space is liberating. You won’t feel rushed, your essentials won’t mysteriously disappear, and you can keep things exactly how you like them.
Living alone builds your strength. While I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t ask for help (trust me, I did plenty of that), you’ll learn to make sound decisions, understand your needs versus your wants, and reach out when necessary. Remember, I’m always here for support when you need it.
Sometimes, you’ll face challenges alone, especially at 2 a.m. when everyone else is asleep. Each time you tackle something tough on your own, your confidence grows. You’ll prove to yourself that you can handle anything life throws your way.
So while I won’t dictate your journey, I sincerely hope you take this advice to heart. You will never regret it. And who knows, maybe you’ll invite me over for a visit—I’d love to relive those bachelorette days with you, dancing and snacking on Cheetos.
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In summary, embrace this opportunity to live independently before settling down. It will empower you and enrich your understanding of yourself.
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