12 Statements to Avoid When Engaging with Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum

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Abstract: When revealing that their child is on the autism spectrum, parents often encounter a range of responses, many of which can be unhelpful or hurtful. This article aims to highlight statements that should be avoided to foster understanding and support for these families.

Introduction

Conversations about autism can be challenging for both parents and listeners. When parents disclose their child’s autism diagnosis, people often struggle to respond appropriately. The intention is usually positive, but the outcome can sometimes be awkward or even painful. Below are twelve comments to steer clear of when interacting with the parents of children with autism.

  1. “But he seems so…typical?”
    This observation can be confusing. There’s no singular definition of what “typical” looks like, and every child is unique.
  2. “Are you positive he has autism?”
    While it may not be immediately obvious based on his behavior, numerous professionals have confirmed his diagnosis.
  3. “What do you think caused his autism?”
    This question can lead to endless speculation and guilt. Parents often grapple with many factors during pregnancy but ultimately focus on supporting their child.
  4. “What are his special talents?”
    This question might unintentionally reinforce the stereotype that all individuals with autism possess extraordinary skills, which is not the case for everyone.
  5. “Maybe he just needs stricter discipline.”
    Such a statement can be painful, as autism is not a result of parenting style or discipline. What may appear as an outburst could be a sensory overload.
  6. “I’ve tried to engage with him, but he ignores me. Has his hearing been checked?”
    Rest assured, parents have taken the necessary steps regarding hearing assessments. Just because a child doesn’t respond verbally doesn’t mean they aren’t aware of their surroundings.
  7. “He probably likes being by himself.”
    Although some children may prefer solitude, it doesn’t mean they are content. Misunderstanding their needs can be hurtful.
  8. “He’s not that problematic.”
    The implication here can be dismissive. Autism is not synonymous with being “bad” or “broken.” It simply signifies a different way of experiencing the world.
  9. “He’ll eat when he’s hungry.”
    This is misguided. Many children on the spectrum have specific dietary preferences influenced by sensory sensitivities.
  10. “You’re so strong and brave.”
    While well-intentioned, it’s essential to recognize that the true strength lies within the child, who faces daily challenges.
  11. “I’m sorry.”
    While this may be meant as compassion, many parents don’t feel sorrow about their child’s diagnosis.
  12. “Will he always be this way?”
    While autism is a lifelong condition, it’s important to focus on the potential for growth, joy, and love in their journey.

Conclusion

Navigating conversations about autism is complex. While it’s common to feel uncertain about how to respond, educating oneself can foster a more supportive environment. For further insights, consider exploring resources such as Resolve for pregnancy and home insemination and Make a Mom for related topics. Additionally, Cryobaby offers valuable information on at-home insemination kits.

In summary, engaging thoughtfully with parents of children on the autism spectrum can contribute to a more inclusive society.

Keyphrase: Statements to Avoid with Parents of Autistic Children

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