“Hey,” my friend Lisa says as we step into the gym locker room, “you’re looking so skinny!”
This comment seems to come up every time I’ve been under the weather or dealing with an injury. It’s intended as a compliment, but honestly, it misses the mark.
If left to my natural state, my figure resembles a slender stick with a bit of an apple shape in the middle, topped with a generous bust. When I exercise, this shape shifts slightly; my once bird-like limbs gain a hint of muscle definition. Yet, after a period of inactivity, losing that little bit of muscle seems to translate to “skinny.” But is that really something to celebrate?
I don’t hit the gym for the sake of my appearance. No offense to those who do, but my motivation is rooted in a battle with depression that has lasted nearly two decades. The endorphin rush I experience while working out enhances my antidepressant effects, stabilizing my mood significantly.
The truth is, being labeled “skinny” isn’t a compliment. While it may be well-intentioned, it reflects a judgment of my body. Consider this: would anyone feel comfortable saying, “You look like you’ve gained weight,” or, “It’s taking you a while to bounce back since having that baby?” Absolutely not.
Compliments on how we look can perpetuate a harmful, sexist narrative that pressures us to care about our bodies and feel inadequate based on appearance. This is why we’re encouraged to praise girls for their intellect and creativity rather than focusing solely on their looks. I hope we’re making progress in this area compared to when I was growing up, surrounded by women who were constantly dieting and scrutinizing their weight.
However, we still grapple with body acceptance. Even when we think we’re being mindful about how we address others’ bodies, we can easily slip into old habits or inadvertently reinforce outdated standards. For every person thriving on those fitness and diet trends flooding social media, there’s someone else—be it a single mom or someone dealing with health issues—who just wants to live without obsessing over their body and its perceived worth.
Gossip magazines still scream, “Celebrity flaunts her post-baby body on the beach!” But let’s be real: she has a body. She had a baby. That’s it.
When friends who haven’t seen me in a while remark on my weight loss, they might not realize I’m recovering from a health flare-up or an injury. And all the while, our kids are observing these conversations.
At my daughter’s after-school art club, I overheard a little girl proudly declaring to her friend, “Look how tiny my tummy is.” I watched my daughter process this. In a moment of mom instinct, I walked over, poked my own stomach, and said, “It doesn’t matter what size your tummy is. What matters is that it works! Can you imagine if it didn’t? You’d be stuck with food just sitting there!” The girls burst into laughter, imagining the absurdity of it.
There’s no wrong way to have a body. By labeling body shapes—even with good intentions—we reinforce judgments. So, please, don’t ever call me skinny. My goal is to be healthy, happy, and to stop worrying about how my body appears to others.
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Summary:
In a world where compliments often focus on appearance, it’s essential to recognize that terms like “skinny” can reinforce harmful standards and judgments about our bodies. While well-meaning, these remarks can detract from the true purpose of fitness and health—mental well-being and overall happiness. Instead of fixating on body shape, we should prioritize health and functionality.
Keyphrase: Body positivity
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