Not too long ago, I found myself lecturing my son about the overwhelming clutter in his playroom. Determined to wage war on mess, I set out to tackle my closet with a garbage bag in tow. To my surprise, I uncovered a treasure trove of questionable fashion choices—think leopard-print halter tops and pleather pants. Here are eight items that once held a place of honor in my wardrobe but will likely never see the light of day again.
1. High-heeled Boots
You know the type—the knee-high, leather boots that once made me feel like a chic version of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. They were my go-to for office days, happy hours, and first dates where I aimed to impress without overdoing it. While some moms still pull off this look, I’ve faced the harsh reality since having my second child: squeezing my size 8 feet into size 7 heels feels more like a scene from a horror film than a fashion statement. I’ll definitely miss my “hooker” boots, I mean high-heeled ones, the most.
2. Thong Underwear
Between my energetic toddler and my opinionated kindergartner, I have enough discomfort in my life. I think I’ll stick to my cozy briefs from now on. Plus, if my little ones decide to pull up my skirt in a public place, I’d rather not have to run out of the store with a discount towel hiding my embarrassment.
3. Miniskirts and Short Shorts
There are women who can rock these styles effortlessly—long legs and slender frames that scream swimsuit model. I was not one of those women before kids, and I’m definitely not now. Just picturing the grooming routine needed to wear these makes me want to take a nap.
4. Earrings
I once adored wearing earrings, but motherhood has turned me into a woman who is lucky to find time to brush her hair. My left earlobe has closed up, rendering my beautiful collection completely useless. I briefly considered getting my ears re-pierced but realized I’m not a teenager anymore. Perhaps when my daughter is old enough, we can have a mother-daughter day at Claire’s, but for now, I might just opt for clip-ons.
5. Strapless Bras
I despised these contraptions long before my body faced the triple threat of gravity, pregnancy, and nursing. Nowadays, my girls require all the support they can get, and by the end of the day, my bra feels less like a supportive garment and more like a medieval torture device. No adorable strapless dress will ever convince me to endure one of those again.
6. White Pants
Once, I wore white with confidence—even after Labor Day! Now, the mere thought of white pants gives me anxiety. I can only imagine the potential disasters lurking on my chair, waiting to ruin my outfit—markers, juice spills, and art projects. And let’s not forget my potty-training toddler, eager to test out his new big-boy underwear on my lap. I’ll have to wait until the kids are off to college before I consider white again, and even then, I might think twice.
7. Beer Logo T-Shirts
Now that my 6-year-old is attempting to read everything in sight, I don’t need her stumbling upon words like “Heineken.” Not to mention, I really don’t want to explain the questionable humor of the Señor Frogs shirt I’ve had since 1994. It’s time to let the party shirts go.
8. Maternity Clothes
I’ll admit it: I hold onto a couple of favorite maternity dresses, trying to convince myself they’re just “baby doll” styles. But mostly, my maternity wear just hangs there, challenging me to accept that my baby-making days are over. While I’ve reconciled with not expanding my family, the thought of getting rid of those clothes has always felt monumental. Now, as I survey my closet bursting with items, I realize the time has come to reclaim my space—symbolism and all.
Time has transformed my wardrobe, and thankfully, I’m ready for my closet to reflect the more mature, semi-put-together woman I’ve become. I might keep those pleather pants, just in case I need to impress my partner or fend off an assassin. After all, every wardrobe needs its surprises.
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In summary, our wardrobes often reflect the changes in our lives, and it’s okay to shed what no longer serves us. The journey of motherhood and the practicalities it brings can lead to a more curated and meaningful closet.
Keyphrase: wardrobe essentials for moms
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