Before I became a parent, I held firm beliefs: I would never drive a minivan, yoga pants would never see the light of my closet, and I absolutely wouldn’t be the type of mother who raised her voice at her children. I would watch frazzled moms in yoga pants zip around town, their tempers flaring in places like Target, and I thought to myself, “I’ll never be like that.” I was convinced that if I were ever blessed with kids, I’d maintain complete composure — always.
Oh, how naive I was! Motherhood swiftly turned that notion on its head and handed me a hefty dose of reality. It turns out, a certain level of yelling is almost a rite of passage in parenting. I find myself eating my words daily when I’m hissing at my kids to settle down in church or using what I like to call “asshole lips” to make my point clear in the grocery store.
Yes, I’m that mom who yells. But before anyone grabs pitchforks, let me clarify: I don’t engage in full-on screaming fits. Instead, I’ve discovered there are multiple ways I “yell” at my kids, and I bet many of you use similar methods.
1. Pursed Lips, aka “Asshole Lips”
This method often comes with a stern “Get. Over. Here.” It’s perfect for those moments when the kids are misbehaving in front of in-laws or causing a ruckus in a library. Pursed lips are also ideal for silencing kids in a movie theater, where discretion is key.
2. Clenched Teeth, aka “I. Said. NO.”
If you’ve ever strolled through a Target or grocery store, you’ve likely seen a mom with clenched teeth issuing a firm order to her children. This form of yelling is reserved for public outings when you are absolutely done with repeating “no” yet again. Clenched teeth also make an appearance when the ice cream truck rolls by or when the kids are begging for more tokens at Chuck E. Cheese’s.
3. The Single Eyebrow Raise, aka “Stop. Right. There.”
I’ve mastered the art of the Single Eyebrow Raise. My kids know that when they spot my right eyebrow arched from across a crowded playground, it’s time to halt their antics. This technique is especially effective in places like museums, community pools, and playgrounds, where I can discipline without causing a scene.
4. The Unsettling Smile, aka “The Singsong Voice”
My siblings and I were experts at mischief during family gatherings. We always braced ourselves when our mom would adopt that sugary-sweet tone: “You need to stop that right now, sweetie. It’s rude to stand on a chair.” She’d flash a wide-eyed smile, and we knew we were in for a lecture on the way home.
5. Complete and Total Rage, aka “Your Neighbors Will Behave Too”
I’ll admit, this style of yelling is the least appropriate, yet we’ve all had those moments when motherhood pushes us to the edge. Whether it’s a carton of eggs shattered on the floor or a favorite sweater flushed down the toilet, we all have lost it at least once — often when the windows are wide open.
6. Total Silence, aka “Shit Just Got Real”
Then there are times when no amount of yelling seems sufficient. This silence signifies a moment of reflection, often stemming from sheer rage. Moms of teenagers are all too familiar with this type of yelling, as teens can truly test your limits. When I go silent, my kids know they’re in serious trouble.
I’m not proud of the moments I lose my cool, but sometimes a mom has to do what she must to get her kids to behave. If you’re navigating this journey, you might find additional insights in our blog post about couples’ fertility journeys. And for those looking for expert guidance on at-home insemination, check out this authority on the topic. For more comprehensive information on what to expect during your first IUI, this resource is invaluable.
In summary, the evolution of a mom’s yelling techniques is a fascinating journey through the challenges of parenting, revealing that sometimes, silence speaks louder than words.
Keyphrase: stages of mom yelling
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